The House Collective

the collective christmas: 22 december.

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The 22nd was a Friday, so we had our usual Flour & Flowers chaos. We also offered a special cinnamon roll week before Christmas and added gifts to all the customers, so we added our own bit of crazy.

This was also the coldest–the absolute coldest!–day we can recall in Mae Sot.

So cold, in fact, we couldn’t get the bread to rise for the first time. Stephen to the rescue: he started the rice cooker with just water in it and created us a little steam room. We had water pouring down the walls and beautiful, plump bread in no time. And all of us loved volunteering to go in there to work! It was the warmest place in the house!

That evening, we started gift deliveries. We got them all loaded up, but honestly, they didn’t go amazing.

We made it through about 20% before we were waking everyone up (at 8:30pm. It wasn’t that crazy.) and we bailed until the next morning!

the collective christmas: 21 december.

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Thida returned before six on Thursday to make breakfast for 50 kids, followed quickly by finishing up mohinga for 400. Did I mention she’s the best?

The bread ladies all came at 9am to make pumpkin bread as a special treat for our Flour & Flowers customers.

From the beginning I’ll say this was the BEST Christmas meal we’ve had yet. We are learning, and have learned this: Delegate. Let somebody else do it better!

So Thursday afternoon found us taking a nap.

By the afternoon, all the food was put into bags and ready to be served. We had some extra time to play games with the kids–repeats of the previous night (below, “Toss the Jingle Bell into the Jar”) and a few made-up-on-the-spot balloon games & races. Did I mention these kids are so easily impressed?  We also did another practice of the kid’s songs, just in time for our church to arrive at 5:30pm.

First: singing the first verse of Joy to the World in both Burmese & English; then Hark The Herald Angels Sing in Burmese. This was followed by a dance a couple of the girls have learned at church.

Ah Tee then shared the story of Christmas and the gospel, and did a great little science experiment. We’ve now seen it three times this Christmas, and it’s still impressive! He has a bucket of clean water labeled “person” or “human.”  He has lots of little bottles–I believe of iodine?–that are labeled with different sins. He talks about the time they were hungry, and stole something to eat; the time they slept with a prostitute; etc. Each time, he adds more iodine as the water gets darker.

He then adds a cross, which has a little notch in the bottom, and he has stuck a tablet of some sort. (My science friends tell me it’s starch?) As he stirs the water with the cross, the water clears and returns to the clean water.  He continues to share about what happens when we sin after Christ–he adds more iodine, and then stirs again until it’s clear–we are purified again and again.

He finished with an invitation for those who want to know Christ, and he got an incredible response, which I wrote more on here. Ultimately, the church did an amazing job! We are so thankful they came to help, allowing us to share the Christmas story in a more relevant and cultural way without translation, and by helping us serve food–our first year without a stampede! Really, no fighting, which is a huge accomplishment.

I’m telling you: delegate. Let somebody else do it better!

the collective christmas: 20 december.

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On Wednesday, we headed to the market to prepare for the Christmas meal. Since Thida is rocking it five days a week for The Breakfast Club, we figured she could handle the community meal on her own, too.  She managed to serve over 400 people mohingya–Burma’s famous fish soup, and what she is famous for. Everyone was so excited.

At the market, we bought:
35 kilos of fish
1 kilo of fish paste
100 kilos of noodles
10 liters of oil
many bottles of fish sauce (Do you see a theme? It’s pretty fishy.)
6+ kilos of onions

And for Flour & Flowers, we bought 10 kilos of pumpkin & 50 kilos of flour.

…And more things I can’t remember. But our car was full. And fairly smelly.

The community began cooking on Wednesday and left the 35 kilos of fish in our kitchen overnight. Once again, we were pretty thankful for the door between our house and the community space.

That afternoon, we also practiced singing Joy to the World & Hark the Herald Angels Sing in Burmese with the kids.

That’s Stephen leading us on the guitar with one toddler on his lap and two hanging on each knee. The guitar is super popular with the kids!

After we sang and sent everyone home for dinner, one of the two-year-olds came up, quite upset about something. After help from his sister, we gathered this, “I learned. Where is my soy milk?”

Every week after Storytime, Liz gives the kids a small snack and soy milk. He was pretty confused that he had participated in “learning” the songs didn’t get a soy milk on his way out! 😂

And just to really round ourselves out, we went to a friends’ house that night to bring some Christmas cheer. They’ve had a hard season as of late, so we brought games and prizes and activities for the kids, and just made Christmas joy. Truth? A lot of us in that room really needed it.

Truth? We came back to a domestic argument that resulted in Stephen lifting a man out of his own home & take him for a mandatory walk/stumble around the block while I sat down to comfort a crying girl and a shamed mother while we all tried to get the other daughter out of her hiding spot. Not all of Christmas is storybook-friendly.

…But a lot of it is!

the collective christmas: random bits.

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…Because there are a few random bits of December I don’t want to forget.

First, this girl.

She absolutely loves Stephen. She cries when he leaves the house or room; smiles and laughs when she can hear him playing music or singing. She’ll fall asleep on him in minutes.

I, on the other hand, am not a friend. She cries when I pick her up, could care less if I leave, and sometimes cries when I show up.

It’s so endearing that she just loves him so.

And also, pipe cleaners. One day for a craft I pulled out a pack of pipe cleaners, and showed them a few things. With help from a few adults, we spent the day fashioning glasses, rings, and crowns endlessly.

But at least they are adorable.

the city with our pseudo family.

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Of course our Christmas was a whirlwind, and of course it will take some time to catch up on all the stories.

We started purchasing & wrapping gifts early this year–a few in November (!!) and early December. But we had fun, so that’s the important part 😊

We also had help in wrapping them all, which we are beyond thankful for.

The weekend off the 15th, we headed off to Bangkok just minutes after returning from Flour & Flower deliveries. We packed up the car with our pseudo family here in town and made it halfway that evening.

The next day we started early and headed to Musana & Zen Yaw’s house. We wanted to deliver Christmas presents to their whole family AND it was Musana’s 12th birthday. That exact day! So we brought a cake, balloons, and presents all around. We also brought videos of her friends wishing her happy birthday, which she loved. It was such fun.

Each and every time we see them, I’m amazed that we have found them, over and over again, and get to see their faces occasionally. It is a miracle each and every time.

{Side note: These last two photos are probably some of my favorite captures of Stephen. I love how he has so many kids that love and trust him so deeply. I also love how he cares for the vulnerable in the community. See him with arm wrapped around this tiny old woman, with this little boy in his arms? He loves so well and is such a father|Father figure to them.}

We then headed off to the city to shop for last minute Christmas gifts and drink Christmas Starbucks drinks and all other fun holiday things.

That night at 11pm, we all piled back into the car to go pick up the Fetter’s two girls who are in university in the States and returned for Christmas! We were all decked out with a sign & bells & lights, and, uh, perhaps more Starbucks 🙂

We spent a couple days in the city: watching Star Wars! Watching Wonder! Finding candy canes and watching them be made! Enjoying all the Christmas sparkle the city has to offer!

The Fetters took our car home (now filling it with their family & luggage) and Stephen & I took the bus. I sort of love the bus, so this was Stephen’s little Christmas gift to me.

Since he doesn’t sleep well on the bus (and I do), he came home to sleep the morning away and I headed off to finish packing all the Christmas presents for the community! Thankful for all of the help we got from friends to pull this off.

All the gifts were wrapped and labeled by the 19th, which might be our PR!

Liz also came to do Storytime that afternoon, because she is still amazing us with that. The kids love it, and I love it! It’s one of the highlights of my week: I do nothing, but watch the kids shout back in English and learn songs and do crafts like they are little Westerners with their own library. 😍

weekend shenanigans.

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We started the weekend trying a new fruit!

I don’t even know what to call it. We currently can’t find it online in any translatable form, so we know the Burmese word (which literally translates to “sugar fruit”) and nothing more! This is the first time we haven’t been able to find any other photos or descriptions or details in English. Kind of bizarre, and a surprisingly good fruit.

After Flour & Flowers on Friday (because our Fridays just aren’t crazy enough!), we went to the BMCC Christmas. Twelve local Burmese churches have come together to form the Burmese Migrant Churches Committee, where the pastors meet regularly for bible studies and worship and prayer; they partner for events and work together in a variety of ways. It is a pretty incredible group and a great example of unity in the church.

And every year, they do a Christmas party. This year we borrowed a friend’s car to make the many trips, since it’s on the other side of town.

Funnily enough, they have the same car as us, which led to much shock & awe. One of the kids asked, How did you make two of the same car? 

Anyway, with the help of two big soccer mom SUVs, we managed to get 48 people there and back again, with a lot of singing and talking in between.

(Oh, and they also got to pass the big town Christmas tree at our local department store–the first year we’ve had one in Mae Sot, and the first time they’ve all been the kilometer away from our house to see it! Such a great response. The whole car, adults & kids alike, erupted in oohs and ahhs!)

And since it lasted til 10pm, this is how Ah Gar & I ended it in the back.

Saturday brought ZuZu’s 3rd birthday! Here she is with her aunt & uncle–all some of our favorites.

And then we had a girls only shindig on Saturday afternoon.

This started out of some Days for Girls kits we were given for the community. In short, Days for Girls provides re-usable pantyliner kits for girls around the world, in hopes of helping them to continue going to school when they are menstruating.  In impoverished communities, its not uncommon for materials to be too expensive, so girls stay home from school or work. Since we were only given a small number of kits, we wanted to make sure the teenagers were given them.

And while I had intended to do this for a few months, I had been putting it off in the chaos & my poor health. But with some of the community possibly moving back to Burma in coming weeks, we wanted to be sure we got them to the girls before they left, as it could really help them in poorer seasons and for their chances at continuing school.

In giving them out, we also wanted to provide some education on their cycles, what to expect or when to go to the doctor, and when they can get pregnant. Because we live in a community where abuse is quite common and the girls face a higher risk, we wanted to talk about that, too.

Thus unfolded a lengthy conversation, made possible by my friend Nu helping with translation; I didn’t want to give a sex or abuse talk with my elementary language; it was bound to be accidentally crass. We talked to the girls about their right to choose for their body, and that no one else has the right to touch them. We talked about it in the general concept–in the market, or at school; their freedom to say no, to hit someone, to run; but also in the community–that their rights are still theirs, even in situations with their dad, brother, uncle, or friend. We talked about the choices they get to make now and in the future. We talked about our house as a safe place, to talk to us, to go to the doctor, and even to sleep if they are scared.

It was probably one of the harder conversations I ever had in the community. For one, it’s a sensitive subject across cultures and languages. But also, we have suspicions that some of the girls have already faced abuse in their young lives. It was hard to see tears in some eyes and watch their responses.

That said, it went better than I could have asked. I had been praying about it for weeks–feeling like it was the right thing to do, but unsure of how or what words to use. Not sure how to love them well and help them. I can honestly say I’m so glad we did it, and we even managed to make it fun, too.

We didn’t want to them to leave with a menstruation kit and have everyone asking what they got and what we did. So we also gifted them some earrings, nail polish, and lip glosses that they could show as “what they got.”

We played a game–which they loved! I had four jars with different items in them–some beads they like to use, two of candy, and one of small stars. They guessed the numbers inside, and whoever was closest one the jar and small prize. Wow, it went over amazing, with cheers and laughter. This is the easiest group to impress with entertainment.

We also decorated Christmas cookies! I always love to do this, but…it’s messy. This was just nine girls, all teenagers, and it was still a doozy of a mess. (So thankful I didn’t try it with the littles!)

I will say I also realized too late that I didn’t have much in the way of food coloring (apparently that’s only something my mom always has on hand; and as an adult you have to buy it in order for it to be “on hand”) and we ended up with blue, purple and white icing, plus a red strawberry filling. And then I put out sprinkles and waxy chocolate chips. They loved it ALL and put it ALL on every single cookie.

I guess it’s a good diet plan. I wasn’t tempted to eat even one!

So thankful for these girls, many of whom we’ve known since they were six or seven. And really thankful for the chance to love on them.

faithful and true.

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In our Advent reading yesterday, we read Revelation 21:3-5, “Then I heard a voice from the throne: Look, God’s dwelling is with humanity, and he will live with them. They will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them and will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; grief, crying, and pain will be no more, because the previous things have passed away. Then the one seated on the throne said, ‘Look, I am making everything new.’ He also said, ‘Write, because these words are faithful and true.'”

Reading this, I began to imagine God dwelling with us here in this community.
Where they are His people; we are His people.
He is our God, here with us. Immanuel.
He is wiping away our tears.
There is no more grief, crying, or pain here.
THERE IS NO MORE GRIEF, CRYING, OR PAIN ON THIS STREET.

This feels unfathomable. It feels impossible.
But it is faithful and true.

It feels more real this week, as we had a friend crying on our porch last night, because she didn’t have any food for dinner. It feels more real this week, because Daw Ma Oo came for a visit and then returned for more cancer treatment in Yangon. This feels more real this week because we said goodbyes to some long-time, dear friends who moved back to Burma, and we cried, cried, cried. This feels more real this week as I recover from my last lanced abscess, fear another one, and recover from a burn; and Stephen recovers from a painful bike wreck. This feels more real this week because Jorgee told his mom that he wants to be a pastor when he grows up and asked if she was okay with that. This feels more real this week because one of the most Buddhist families in our neighborhood has six Advent trees hanging in their home and borrowed our glue stick to make some Christmas decorations.

I struggle to imagine this place without grief. I struggle to imagine these people as His, and our collective call to our God.

But it is faithful and true. It is coming. And honestly, we are waiting with urgency.

an unpleasant event.

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One of our best little friends moved away with some of his family yesterday.

“There is a painful difference between the expectation of an unpleasant event and its final certainty.” (Sense & Sensibility by Jane Austen) That is how I feel about all these goodbyes. Sometimes I’m not sure when they’ve started and when they’ll end, but they are certainly upon us.

I can’t even pretend to have the words, but I have photos. We’re just trying to figure out how to do this.

I’ll just go ahead and admit we’re taking a second Sabbath tomorrow, since this week’s Sabbath involved a bicycle wreck and learning this little guy was moving away.

We’ve known him since he was a toddler, and since his older sister spent a lot of time at our house, so did he.

Now he comes all the time and loves Minecraft–he’s built up quite an amazing little world full of books and three or four houses and incredible tunnels. His creativity is amazing, and I still love how Minecraft gives you a glimpse into kid’s dreams.

His birthday was coming up this Sunday, and he’d been anticipating it so long, so midnight on Monday found me making a big chocolate birthday cake & decorating it with sprinkles and chocolate chips in the shape of Superman.

We had invited everyone who was leaving to have breakfast on their way and did a special birthday party for him over Breakfast Club, hoping that would encourage them to come say goodbye and not just slip away.

We also went to pick up his best friend that morning to be sure he got to say goodbye and they got a photo together.

We have so much history with the whole family, it’s hard to put into words. But I will say that Laytahoo & Yaminoo’s dad–here smiling at the camera–has grown so dear to our hearts. He has been going to church with us this year and was baptized in May. And ultimately, we’ve watched his life change in some incredible ways over the past seven years. It’s has been such a privilege to witness that and the incredible effect it has had on their family. He will be missed and forever be a friend.

As stateless friends without phones and documents, pray for this crew as they they set up a life in Burma, as well as the few left here with us for a bit longer. Pray they are reunited before too long.

Goodbyes are hard. I probably should have used my trick of taking this photo from behind, because–as you can tell–goodbyes involve a lot of tears, a lot less sleep, and a lot of prayers.

christmas: go big or go home.

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A few weeks ago, the neighbors starting asking about Christmas. Over one conversation with the bread ladies, they said, “Do it really big this year! Next year, we probably won’t be here and you probably won’t either, so we need to make it so big!”

It still breaks my heart to think of it, but it’s true: both of these are possibilities for all of us. We have no idea what the coming months will hold, and even today one of our favorite families said they’d be heading out tomorrow morning. We aren’t sure what to make of it, but if this is our last chance to celebrate Christmas in this community, we do want it to be epic.

So we’ve started early!

We’ve already done Advents in Sunday school, with eighteen kids filling twenty-five envelopes each with two small gifts (candy, pencils, rulers, erasers).

They are to wait to open them until the right day–just as they waited for Jesus in the Old Testament and we are waiting for him now–and keep one for themselves and give one to a friend.

We also started Storytime in the community last week, where our friend Liz will come each week to read a story, sing songs, and do a craft. (Our own little library storytime! 😍) She does it twice, for the toddlers with their moms, and then again for the older kids.

She read a book about a snowman that they loved (rolling laughter, the second time through when they understood it more!) and we made cottonball snowmen. Adorable.

We also decorated a community tree with colored ornaments and hand-sewn felt Christmas trees.

The littler kids also replicated this with a tree outside: the stuck a branch into the ground and hung flowers and limes all around the tree on bits of string they found! It was pretty endearing.

And we played Bingo this week, which was popular as always.

We’ve already started gathering presents and storing them at a friends house, and we have community events planned all through the month.

We’re hoping we can make this the best yet–and hoping most of the community stays around at least until January!

snippets: november.

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Y’all, these past few months have just beat us in so many ways. But, hey, there is still so much to say.

We started November with an anniversary trip to Chiang Mai. We took on the city for a day or two of good food and fun shops, and then headed outside of town to ride bikes and go for hikes and enjoy the beautiful weather of northern Thailand.

At the end of October, the mourning season for H.M. The King officially ended for the country of Thailand, and we slowly, hesitantly have begun to wear red again.

This was Stephen first day to wear his favorite red t-shirt, to which he put on and said, “Hi, I’m Stephen. And I’m back!”

After just returning from our anniversary trip, we got a call from the adoption agency to meet our new caseworker. We packed up the car the next week and trekked to Bangkok.

This was right before a disappointing, four minute “meeting” in the hallway–a literal “meet her”–with our fifth caseworker. We’re still on the waiting list.

{When Stephen & I were dating long distance, I learned pretty quickly that there are lots of emotional moments that you want to remember–for the moment but not necessarily for your face. I started encouraging photos of the backs of our heads, of our feet. And well, it’s stuck. I don’t want to forget this moment in our lives, but there are parts of it I don’t want on record, either.}

Thankfully Bangkok has more to offer us, including visiting these favorite faces.

And nice parks & skylines.

And since we’re still having celebrations once a week, we went out to our favorite live jazz venue and talked about what good things were going (this list didn’t include the flop-meeting with our caseworker).

Since Thanksgiving isn’t really celebrated worldwide, Thailand tends to jump into Christmas pretty early on.

So we just jumped, too, enjoying some Starbucks peppermint mochas (over a Skyped missions meeting in a hospital waiting room, because…well, our life is still our life!).

And I found a Real Simple in the hotel lobby, so I read through that in my shorts & tank top in the air conditioning.

Within a day or two of returning from Bangkok, I had another abscess under my arm. Not wanting to repeat the last very painful experience, as soon as we knew outpatient surgery was necessary, we got in the car to go to Chiang Mai. Ultimately, it was a good call, but it wasn’t pleasant on many fronts. I’m still recovering, and we’re working so hard to build up my immune system.

The doctors say that with my immune system down (which it seems it has been since dengue fever in July and my dog bite in August; and the following reported infections), this will keep happening. We’re currently downing green smoothies and fresh fruits & veggies and vitamins like there is no tomorrow, and we are praying, praying, praying we can be done with this season of poor health.

We’re still trying to participate in the local community, and went to the art show our friend hosted, the grand opening of our friend’s restaurant, and a fundraiser for an organization working to end abuse of women & children. {It might sound like we have a lot of friends, but I’ll just remind you that we do sell bread & flower bouquets in a small town every week, so…}

To raise funds, you bought a t-shirt & decorated it, and then it was auctioned off.

My contribution was auctioned for $30! {From what I gather, one of the higher ones, & they were pretty surprised. To be fair, many people were painting pictures of abusive situations or fists in the air; things that might not be worn as commonly…} Either way, since this is something we deal with regularly in the community, it was refreshing to be able to fight from both angles of the issue.

I also ran a 5K to fundraise for another local organization that supports Burmese migrant schools around Mae Sot.

The Breakfast Club is still happening, and Stephen is still on the look out for budding romances! He’s convinced of this one.

Our seamstresses are still busy sewing for a few projects. San Aye and her two kids are thriving, and I love how her smile captures it all.

Mwei Mwei loves sewing, but isn’t a huge fan of the required studies. It’s a bit like pulling teeth, but teeth I really want to pull–I really want her to know a higher level of math (I’d like her to be comfortable with multiplication & division, but she currently does alright at addition & subtraction); to be regularly reading & writing Burmese; and to learn some English & Thai.

Math has been a particular battle. At the beginning of November, we struck a deal (offered a bribe?)–if she would memorize her times tables, we would give her additional money (on top of her salary, which goes to her family) and take her for a shopping trip. She has two chances to get 90% on all her times tables (1-12, in the form of minute math pages), and her first try was this past Thursday.

She’s at least appearing to be motivated and we’ve caught her studying in between Breakfast Club & her workday. She’ll finish up the exams this week and hopefully head out for a day of shopping with us! Here’s to hoping she can do well and it can build her confidence a little.

We found out one of the mothers in the community is pregnant again–with her third, the oldest being 3 1/2. Culturally this is rare, and a “mistake” if you will. As the general response was overwhelming fear and concern; others asking how she let this happen again, we wanted to be sure she knew we were there to support her and wanted her to welcome this baby with joy. We bought two maternity dresses in the market and delivered a bag of rice to the family; and then offered to take her to the clinic for her checkup. Within that week, her oldest was also bit by a dog, at which point we learned he didn’t have any vaccinations–including his tetanus which is really needed for dog bites. Thus, by the following week, we were at the clinic two days with them, catching both boys up on all their vaccines, getting them their birth certificates, and getting an ultrasound and bloodwork for the new babe. While we believe it was so important to support her this, it did mean I ended up locked in the car with three toddlers because I couldn’t manage to keep them all within reach at the clinic.

And after over an hour of that, I just drove them home and told her I’d send Stephen back for her.

That resulted in me at home with four toddlers for the afternoon. Our lives don’t always go as planned, mostly since I don’t usually work children into my schedule since I don’t have any to call my own!

Fast foward to this Saturday, when Stephen had to pick up The Reinforcers to return sound equipment to the church before we went to get four kids for a Christmas dance practice. As we planned our day, “Let’s go to Sai Bo Bo’s birthday party at 8; and then you go at 8:30 to get the kids and return the sound equipment. Can you pick me up by 9:30 so we can get the kids to dance by 10? Then maybe we can go work at the coffeeshop until we have to pick them up…”

Again, lots of children and yet none we call our own!

After a three-hour dance practice, we learned they hadn’t had lunch, so we took the kids out to lunch. It was a unique group–some of our favorites–and I’ll probably cherish that meal forever.

They got chicken fried rice with a fried egg on top, and they were so excited to have meat and an egg. Laytahoo also asked, “They’re paying for this, right?!” at one point, which had all the other kids shushing him and Stephen & I rolling on the floor. We got ice cream, too, and listened to Christmas songs on the way home, while Jorgee drummed on his legs and snapped his fingers just like his hero Stephen. It’s a memory I won’t quickly forget.

On a Sabbath, we went up into the mountains to read and hike in the quiet. It turned out to be colder than we thought, so I was layering two sweaters and we eventually started a fire. We couldn’t believe the chill, so we looked up the temp–according to our phones it was 82 degrees 😳 I’d like to assume that was incorrect, but not sure how much margin of error I can credit!

The kids think its pretty cold, too, and it’s adorable when they come for breakfast in the morning all bundled up.

Birthdays just keep coming, and this little guy turned 2 years old. He usually licks of the icing and toppings of things, so we went all out with the strawberry on top.

And now it’s December, and we’re going big for Christmas this year! More snippets of chaos to come 🙂