The House Collective

one man’s trash is another man’s treat.

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I made truffles on one of the many busy late nights before Christmas, a tradition we’ve carried here. They aren’t quite the same with Thai chocolate–or perhaps a poor chocolatier that blames Thai chocolate? 🤷‍♀️–but oh, well. It’s a tradition, and it’s delicious.

Well, this poor chocolatier left some chunks of chunky, perhaps burnt, cheap Thai chocolate in the bottom of the pan. I poured hot water in that evening, and just planned to sort it in the morning. The morning bought bread baking and cinnamon rolls at 5:30am, so it took the backseat. The pan sat in the sink while we washed bread bowls and hands, fruit was cleaned for The Breakfast Club, and somewhere in the chaos I twice poured more hot water in, hoping to slowly melt it away.

In comes Thida, and she begins to help with dishes. She sees the remains, “Oh! Did you make chocolate?!”

“Yeah, kind of. It’s one of Stephen’s favorite Christmas foods.”

“Oh, he loves chocolate.” (She nodded toward her six-year-old. If I knew how to say Who doesn’t? in Burmese, I would have.)

“Yeah, Stephen, too…” I was focused on the fourteen bowls of dough to be kneaded. It wasn’t until I was walking one of these bowls to rise that I saw her son, Jor Lay, eating a piece of chocolate on the front porch.

Yep. She certainly had pulled that chocolate (and water and dish soap and bread remnants?) out of the pan in the sink and fed it to her six-year-old. 😳🤢😝😂

the collective christmas: 22 december.

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The 22nd was a Friday, so we had our usual Flour & Flowers chaos. We also offered a special cinnamon roll week before Christmas and added gifts to all the customers, so we added our own bit of crazy.

This was also the coldest–the absolute coldest!–day we can recall in Mae Sot.

So cold, in fact, we couldn’t get the bread to rise for the first time. Stephen to the rescue: he started the rice cooker with just water in it and created us a little steam room. We had water pouring down the walls and beautiful, plump bread in no time. And all of us loved volunteering to go in there to work! It was the warmest place in the house!

That evening, we started gift deliveries. We got them all loaded up, but honestly, they didn’t go amazing.

We made it through about 20% before we were waking everyone up (at 8:30pm. It wasn’t that crazy.) and we bailed until the next morning!

the collective christmas: 21 december.

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Thida returned before six on Thursday to make breakfast for 50 kids, followed quickly by finishing up mohinga for 400. Did I mention she’s the best?

The bread ladies all came at 9am to make pumpkin bread as a special treat for our Flour & Flowers customers.

From the beginning I’ll say this was the BEST Christmas meal we’ve had yet. We are learning, and have learned this: Delegate. Let somebody else do it better!

So Thursday afternoon found us taking a nap.

By the afternoon, all the food was put into bags and ready to be served. We had some extra time to play games with the kids–repeats of the previous night (below, “Toss the Jingle Bell into the Jar”) and a few made-up-on-the-spot balloon games & races. Did I mention these kids are so easily impressed?  We also did another practice of the kid’s songs, just in time for our church to arrive at 5:30pm.

First: singing the first verse of Joy to the World in both Burmese & English; then Hark The Herald Angels Sing in Burmese. This was followed by a dance a couple of the girls have learned at church.

Ah Tee then shared the story of Christmas and the gospel, and did a great little science experiment. We’ve now seen it three times this Christmas, and it’s still impressive! He has a bucket of clean water labeled “person” or “human.”  He has lots of little bottles–I believe of iodine?–that are labeled with different sins. He talks about the time they were hungry, and stole something to eat; the time they slept with a prostitute; etc. Each time, he adds more iodine as the water gets darker.

He then adds a cross, which has a little notch in the bottom, and he has stuck a tablet of some sort. (My science friends tell me it’s starch?) As he stirs the water with the cross, the water clears and returns to the clean water.  He continues to share about what happens when we sin after Christ–he adds more iodine, and then stirs again until it’s clear–we are purified again and again.

He finished with an invitation for those who want to know Christ, and he got an incredible response, which I wrote more on here. Ultimately, the church did an amazing job! We are so thankful they came to help, allowing us to share the Christmas story in a more relevant and cultural way without translation, and by helping us serve food–our first year without a stampede! Really, no fighting, which is a huge accomplishment.

I’m telling you: delegate. Let somebody else do it better!

the collective christmas: 20 december.

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On Wednesday, we headed to the market to prepare for the Christmas meal. Since Thida is rocking it five days a week for The Breakfast Club, we figured she could handle the community meal on her own, too.  She managed to serve over 400 people mohingya–Burma’s famous fish soup, and what she is famous for. Everyone was so excited.

At the market, we bought:
35 kilos of fish
1 kilo of fish paste
100 kilos of noodles
10 liters of oil
many bottles of fish sauce (Do you see a theme? It’s pretty fishy.)
6+ kilos of onions

And for Flour & Flowers, we bought 10 kilos of pumpkin & 50 kilos of flour.

…And more things I can’t remember. But our car was full. And fairly smelly.

The community began cooking on Wednesday and left the 35 kilos of fish in our kitchen overnight. Once again, we were pretty thankful for the door between our house and the community space.

That afternoon, we also practiced singing Joy to the World & Hark the Herald Angels Sing in Burmese with the kids.

That’s Stephen leading us on the guitar with one toddler on his lap and two hanging on each knee. The guitar is super popular with the kids!

After we sang and sent everyone home for dinner, one of the two-year-olds came up, quite upset about something. After help from his sister, we gathered this, “I learned. Where is my soy milk?”

Every week after Storytime, Liz gives the kids a small snack and soy milk. He was pretty confused that he had participated in “learning” the songs didn’t get a soy milk on his way out! 😂

And just to really round ourselves out, we went to a friends’ house that night to bring some Christmas cheer. They’ve had a hard season as of late, so we brought games and prizes and activities for the kids, and just made Christmas joy. Truth? A lot of us in that room really needed it.

Truth? We came back to a domestic argument that resulted in Stephen lifting a man out of his own home & take him for a mandatory walk/stumble around the block while I sat down to comfort a crying girl and a shamed mother while we all tried to get the other daughter out of her hiding spot. Not all of Christmas is storybook-friendly.

…But a lot of it is!

the collective christmas: random bits.

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…Because there are a few random bits of December I don’t want to forget.

First, this girl.

She absolutely loves Stephen. She cries when he leaves the house or room; smiles and laughs when she can hear him playing music or singing. She’ll fall asleep on him in minutes.

I, on the other hand, am not a friend. She cries when I pick her up, could care less if I leave, and sometimes cries when I show up.

It’s so endearing that she just loves him so.

And also, pipe cleaners. One day for a craft I pulled out a pack of pipe cleaners, and showed them a few things. With help from a few adults, we spent the day fashioning glasses, rings, and crowns endlessly.

But at least they are adorable.

snippets: november.

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Y’all, these past few months have just beat us in so many ways. But, hey, there is still so much to say.

We started November with an anniversary trip to Chiang Mai. We took on the city for a day or two of good food and fun shops, and then headed outside of town to ride bikes and go for hikes and enjoy the beautiful weather of northern Thailand.

At the end of October, the mourning season for H.M. The King officially ended for the country of Thailand, and we slowly, hesitantly have begun to wear red again.

This was Stephen first day to wear his favorite red t-shirt, to which he put on and said, “Hi, I’m Stephen. And I’m back!”

After just returning from our anniversary trip, we got a call from the adoption agency to meet our new caseworker. We packed up the car the next week and trekked to Bangkok.

This was right before a disappointing, four minute “meeting” in the hallway–a literal “meet her”–with our fifth caseworker. We’re still on the waiting list.

{When Stephen & I were dating long distance, I learned pretty quickly that there are lots of emotional moments that you want to remember–for the moment but not necessarily for your face. I started encouraging photos of the backs of our heads, of our feet. And well, it’s stuck. I don’t want to forget this moment in our lives, but there are parts of it I don’t want on record, either.}

Thankfully Bangkok has more to offer us, including visiting these favorite faces.

And nice parks & skylines.

And since we’re still having celebrations once a week, we went out to our favorite live jazz venue and talked about what good things were going (this list didn’t include the flop-meeting with our caseworker).

Since Thanksgiving isn’t really celebrated worldwide, Thailand tends to jump into Christmas pretty early on.

So we just jumped, too, enjoying some Starbucks peppermint mochas (over a Skyped missions meeting in a hospital waiting room, because…well, our life is still our life!).

And I found a Real Simple in the hotel lobby, so I read through that in my shorts & tank top in the air conditioning.

Within a day or two of returning from Bangkok, I had another abscess under my arm. Not wanting to repeat the last very painful experience, as soon as we knew outpatient surgery was necessary, we got in the car to go to Chiang Mai. Ultimately, it was a good call, but it wasn’t pleasant on many fronts. I’m still recovering, and we’re working so hard to build up my immune system.

The doctors say that with my immune system down (which it seems it has been since dengue fever in July and my dog bite in August; and the following reported infections), this will keep happening. We’re currently downing green smoothies and fresh fruits & veggies and vitamins like there is no tomorrow, and we are praying, praying, praying we can be done with this season of poor health.

We’re still trying to participate in the local community, and went to the art show our friend hosted, the grand opening of our friend’s restaurant, and a fundraiser for an organization working to end abuse of women & children. {It might sound like we have a lot of friends, but I’ll just remind you that we do sell bread & flower bouquets in a small town every week, so…}

To raise funds, you bought a t-shirt & decorated it, and then it was auctioned off.

My contribution was auctioned for $30! {From what I gather, one of the higher ones, & they were pretty surprised. To be fair, many people were painting pictures of abusive situations or fists in the air; things that might not be worn as commonly…} Either way, since this is something we deal with regularly in the community, it was refreshing to be able to fight from both angles of the issue.

I also ran a 5K to fundraise for another local organization that supports Burmese migrant schools around Mae Sot.

The Breakfast Club is still happening, and Stephen is still on the look out for budding romances! He’s convinced of this one.

Our seamstresses are still busy sewing for a few projects. San Aye and her two kids are thriving, and I love how her smile captures it all.

Mwei Mwei loves sewing, but isn’t a huge fan of the required studies. It’s a bit like pulling teeth, but teeth I really want to pull–I really want her to know a higher level of math (I’d like her to be comfortable with multiplication & division, but she currently does alright at addition & subtraction); to be regularly reading & writing Burmese; and to learn some English & Thai.

Math has been a particular battle. At the beginning of November, we struck a deal (offered a bribe?)–if she would memorize her times tables, we would give her additional money (on top of her salary, which goes to her family) and take her for a shopping trip. She has two chances to get 90% on all her times tables (1-12, in the form of minute math pages), and her first try was this past Thursday.

She’s at least appearing to be motivated and we’ve caught her studying in between Breakfast Club & her workday. She’ll finish up the exams this week and hopefully head out for a day of shopping with us! Here’s to hoping she can do well and it can build her confidence a little.

We found out one of the mothers in the community is pregnant again–with her third, the oldest being 3 1/2. Culturally this is rare, and a “mistake” if you will. As the general response was overwhelming fear and concern; others asking how she let this happen again, we wanted to be sure she knew we were there to support her and wanted her to welcome this baby with joy. We bought two maternity dresses in the market and delivered a bag of rice to the family; and then offered to take her to the clinic for her checkup. Within that week, her oldest was also bit by a dog, at which point we learned he didn’t have any vaccinations–including his tetanus which is really needed for dog bites. Thus, by the following week, we were at the clinic two days with them, catching both boys up on all their vaccines, getting them their birth certificates, and getting an ultrasound and bloodwork for the new babe. While we believe it was so important to support her this, it did mean I ended up locked in the car with three toddlers because I couldn’t manage to keep them all within reach at the clinic.

And after over an hour of that, I just drove them home and told her I’d send Stephen back for her.

That resulted in me at home with four toddlers for the afternoon. Our lives don’t always go as planned, mostly since I don’t usually work children into my schedule since I don’t have any to call my own!

Fast foward to this Saturday, when Stephen had to pick up The Reinforcers to return sound equipment to the church before we went to get four kids for a Christmas dance practice. As we planned our day, “Let’s go to Sai Bo Bo’s birthday party at 8; and then you go at 8:30 to get the kids and return the sound equipment. Can you pick me up by 9:30 so we can get the kids to dance by 10? Then maybe we can go work at the coffeeshop until we have to pick them up…”

Again, lots of children and yet none we call our own!

After a three-hour dance practice, we learned they hadn’t had lunch, so we took the kids out to lunch. It was a unique group–some of our favorites–and I’ll probably cherish that meal forever.

They got chicken fried rice with a fried egg on top, and they were so excited to have meat and an egg. Laytahoo also asked, “They’re paying for this, right?!” at one point, which had all the other kids shushing him and Stephen & I rolling on the floor. We got ice cream, too, and listened to Christmas songs on the way home, while Jorgee drummed on his legs and snapped his fingers just like his hero Stephen. It’s a memory I won’t quickly forget.

On a Sabbath, we went up into the mountains to read and hike in the quiet. It turned out to be colder than we thought, so I was layering two sweaters and we eventually started a fire. We couldn’t believe the chill, so we looked up the temp–according to our phones it was 82 degrees 😳 I’d like to assume that was incorrect, but not sure how much margin of error I can credit!

The kids think its pretty cold, too, and it’s adorable when they come for breakfast in the morning all bundled up.

Birthdays just keep coming, and this little guy turned 2 years old. He usually licks of the icing and toppings of things, so we went all out with the strawberry on top.

And now it’s December, and we’re going big for Christmas this year! More snippets of chaos to come 🙂

an epic day.

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It was a Friday, so we had Flour & Flowers; plus it was the first week of the month with cinnamon rolls. I was up and putting artisan loaves in pans at 5:30am when Nyein Nyein arrived with her little boy, and we got started on bread & cinnamon rolls.

Thida arrived for The Breakfast Club around 6am with her two sons, and they began serving fruit & soy milk to the kids around 6:15am. It was a school sport day, with four teams competing, so the kids were decked out in their team colors as they came for breakfast early—most arriving around 7am. Thida was out of the six kilos of longan fruit before 7:20, so we made do with watermelon, bananas, and apples from our fridge until 8.

Also by 7am, Pyo Pyo & Pwe Pyu Hey joined us for bread & cinnamon roll making. Mwei Mwei came to watch the kids. In all, they baked 22 loaves of bread, rolled out 120 tortillas, and made 173 cinnamon rolls.

Our morning was chaos: four of us baked here while kids ran in and out of the house. Stephen had breakfast with a friend and then went and one of The Reinforcers to deliver the sound system for the evening. He picked up lunch on the way back for all the bakers and us.

They asked about Bingo all day—I had promised we’d play this week but haven’t them the day. They chatted about how we hadn’t decided yet, which I corrected that I had, but just wasn’t telling them! They begged me all day to know.

Flour & Flowers finished baking around 1:30pm. We rested for about thirty minutes, before we had to shower and pack up the bread and load up the flowers.

As they walked out the door I asked if they were free on Sunday evening and might want to play Bingo? It was received with shouts, jumping, and cheers—grown women with children, jumping in our doorway to play Bingo this weekend! It was well worth the game all day 🙂

Because of reports of raids this week, Pyo Pyo didn’t make deliveries with me. I picked up Thida at 3pm instead, as she has legal paperwork. She doesn’t know the Flour & Flowers system, though, so we…made do. It was a lot of explaining and chatting while driving, until my head hurt.

Stephen left the house at 4pm, in a friend’s borrowed car, to take the two Reinforcers to the restaurant in town having a grand opening. They set up the sound system and did sound checks with the band; had dinner together and got started at 6:30pm.

I got back from deliveries about 6pm and did finances with Pyo Pyo, before heading out the door to the concert. I chatted with friends while The Reinforcers had their first paid gig running live sound. They did amazing! I think they exceeded many people’s expectations, both Stephen & the two guys, which is always fun to see. We had people asking about opportunities in the future!

They loaded up the car twice with gear, and we crashed at home around 11pm.

That’s eighteen hours later, spent entirely with the community. In those eighteen hours, eight people from our community had work and earned money for their families. In those eighteen hours, we had good conversations about the adoption system & children’s homes, about what their kids want to be when they get older, about inside jokes, about an absent father, about our weight (of course!), and all about Christmas and Bingo.

It worked, guys.

Flour & Flowers: it worked. It made profit. Four women took home money to their families and still got to see their kids through the day. It was relational. The loaves were beautiful, and every one raved at the concert about how much they love it. It’s a popular business to sell delicious things.

The Breakfast Club: it worked. It fed kids healthy food. It created stability. It was relational. And it will happen every school day this month because Thida is amazing.

The Reinforcers: it worked. It made profit. It kept kids in school. It gave them new skills. It was relational. And it looks like it might grow!

It’s working, and even on the most epic days, it’s worth it!

weekends & sabbaths.

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Friday: I was up at 5am, meeting one of the bread ladies at the door at 5:30. We had our first loaves rising in the oven by 5:45am and our first pans of cinnamon rolls being rolled out by 7:15am.

While baking, we served oranges, soy milk, & vitamins to about forty kids.

One of the batches went funny, and the neighbors absolutely refuse to throw out a mistake. I absolutely refuse to sell one 🙂 So we bake it for the neighborhood, who will generally eat anything. And they did.

But it means that, in total, we kneaded sixteen bowls of dough. We baked 24 loaves of bread & rolled out 174 tortillas. And made 192 cinnamon rolls.

At various points through the morning, I also made twelve flower bouquets. Daw Ma Oo is still away for her chemotherapy & radiation treatment, but the family still needs the money from flower sales. Her sons have been helping to keep the business going, but sometimes ask for help with the bouquet-making.

We baked until 2:30pm, when Pyo Pyo & I climbed in the car for deliveries. There was a break for lunch–about fifteen minutes because Burmese folks eat fast!–and I took a shower while they packaged up the products.

We delivered until 6:30pm, when I joked with Pyo Pyo that we started before sunrise and finished after it. We counted up finances and I skidded off to dinner with friends, followed by two more deliveries. The last deliveries were made at 9:30pm that evening, for a total of thirty-three houses around Mae Sot.

I have absolutely no photos of the entire day, but I survived it, which counts for something! And it was our most profitable Friday yet 🙂

Saturday was relatively uneventful, with only a trip to the bus station at 5:30am with a friend; only one trip to the clinic; only one English class at church; a worship practice that was less than two hours; previous-days-failed-bread served to hungry kids; and two hours of play with only one broken computer.

Yaminoo beat us all six times in a row at Sorry!  And the sunset was gorgeous above a host of kids playing and giggling in the street.

It was a beautiful day in our little neighborhood, for sure.

Sunday saw us to church with a whole lot of excited kids. They were lectured in the car about sitting down, and how they must listen or they will go home. They were told to behave at church or they wouldn’t be returning.

This lecture went unheard.

Within minutes of opening up the back of our car, a kid jumped out into a large, slippery mud puddle, spraying me with water and mud and who-knows-whatelse past my knees, then sliding on his butt through it all. Right outside the front doors of the church.

As I tried to help him up, another 3-year-old was shoved out of the back by the remaining twelve or so kids–who knew our little crew of church-going neighbor kids can create a mob in a second?–and ended up face planting on the concrete from a few feet up.

Fast foward a few minutes, when I’m very muddy and now very wet, holding a naked, bleeding, crying three-year-old as we bandage up his face. Stephen walks out after worship practice to ask, “What happened?!”

Turns out he had also dumped his entire “non-spillable” mug on the church floor when he arrived earlier, so #winning. So thankful our church still loves us, even when we show up with a host of bleeding, muddy, misbehaving kids and make a scene.

I then sat through church soaking wet with said three-year-old on my lap, sleeping from exhaustion while the lump on his forehead and lip grew exponentially. Thankfully, my anger in the car and the blood and mess helped the kids to shape up a bit, so they were extremely well-behaved through church and Sunday school, so…#youwinsomeyoulosesome.

Today, one of our best little friends, Aung Aung Ley, made his way to Bangkok to live with different family members. It’s hard to say if it will be better or not, but either way, he’ll be missed most certainly. Either way, he’s a big part of our lives, has brought many tears and smiles our way. I might even miss him asking every single day if we’ll be playing at 4pm.

And I sit here over a cup of coffee and thank the Lord for weekly Sabbaths, because that weekend alone nearly took me!

the birthday party.

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One of our sweet little friends, Win Mo, turned two on the 16th and nearly shares a birthday with Stephen. And since he’s one of her favorites–Oo Oo See-binnn!— it seemed fitting to throw a collective party.

And, oooh, did she come ready!

And since we all know sprinkles, strawberry filling, and teddy bears are Stephen’s favorite, we included those, too 🙂

Her mom, Pwe Pyu Hey, is one of our bread ladies and dear friends.

Her uncle is one of The Reinforcers, and we suspect a budding relationship between he & our seamstress…just wanted some photo evidence that we saw it coming 🙂

We had lots of friends come out to join us for the evening! And then we all sugar-crashed together 😁

still.

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Still.

We are still baking bread and making flower bouquets every Friday. And it’s still profitable! Three women make a days salary + savings on the bread baking, and Daw Ma Oo’s family is still coming together to keep up flower sales and make ends meet while she’s away for cancer treatment.

There are still two ladies sewing in our house three days a week, and usually a sleeping baby within sight. They are still cute as ever.

I’m still teaching Mwei Mwei a few days a week in math, English, and typing; she is reading Burmese books and answering essay questions; and she is taking a Thai class.

Oh, and I’m still an ogre next to all the tiny folks in this community.

This girl is still a part of our lives, day in and day out. And now she’s a teenager, going to church in her lovely outfits with her hair braided and styled. I’m still snapping blurry photos on my phone so I don’t forget the moment I realized she’s grown and beautiful.

We’re still resting one day a week to stay alive. We find pretty places or quiet places or cool places and make a day of it.