better next year.

We made it to England.
We are resting.
I am desperately trying to sort myself out: who are we? Where are we going? What is ahead?

Our mantra for the past little while has come from a Rescues’ song, “I know that it hurts but on January first…
…everything’s gonna be better next year!”

We keep telling each other this–that it’s going to be better. Part of me believes it must be; another part of me just needs the laughter in the moment to hold back tears. I honestly have no idea what 2014 holds: I don’t really know if it will be “better” or not. What would be better? What would be worse? The unknowns are sickeningly numerous; I am worn down. And 2013 held a whole lot more mess than I ever bargained for.

So maybe it will be better next year.

We are still trusting that God is good. That somehow, someway: this is good and He is good and we will be better people because of it.

The fears are looming; even as I write they come to the forefront. I type them out, and then backspace.

We are choosing to trust {noun; “a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something”}
We are choosing to hold onto hope {noun; “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen”}
We are waiting for redemption {noun; “the action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil}

‘Tis the season of trusting, not fearing. ‘Tis the season of hoping that everything’s gonna be better next year!