today.

I stayed at home today, still recovering from being quite sick yesterday.

I finished reading When Helping Hurts, did some reading for my training curriculum, and laid in bed for most of the day.  I helped our staff nurse change the dressings on a little boy this afternoon and spent some time with our sweet neighborhood friends. 

And after all of this, I realized it was one of those days I’m really thankful to be here.

It’s not always easy, and really things have been quite difficult from the beginning in many ways.

But today, I realized this:

I love what I’m doing at Partners. I agree with the vision behind it. I love that Partners is considering the long-term development of the area and building relationships with local populations. I love that I am able to learn so many things through countless books and articles, create curriculum, and then learn even more when I give trainings. I love the idea of trainers of trainers, where we are equipping entire populations to teach each other. I love that I am working with social development, where faith walks alongside social participation, political development, and economic change, not requiring separate spheres.

I really love our community. I love that we have our work in addition to our friendships with our neighbors. I like that our neighborhood isn’t our primary “ministry”; I think that would really inhibit our friendship, almost making them like a project. Instead, they are just our dear friends. I love how slowly these relationships are developing as we learn to trust each other and communicate that trust.

And as frustrating and challenging as it sometimes is; as much as I often doubt our decisions–today, I am really thankful that we are in a place where we are constantly looking for answers. We are constantly trying to consider when to say yes and when to say no. We are constantly trying to determine the lines between loving and enabling; between giving and refraining; between life and death. I like how the questions shape me–how they keep me thinking and striving.

God has been really good to us. He is really blessing our relationships with people we can’t even speak to and those we can. I can see the ways he is giving us wisdom for each situation that arises. I can see the ways he gives us a taste of comfort and days to celebrate.

So we’re here today, and it’s good we’re here today.

…And I have very few additional conclusions.