Just days after Christmas, we celebrated Oak’s third birthday! He’s three! And he’s ours. I’m still relishing in each thing we get to do with him: the meals we get to have, the books we get to read, the birthdays we get to celebrate…and the dinosaur pancakes we get to make!

• 

A few weeks before his birthday, his social worker at the children’s home asked for our address to send him a birthday package. A group of those that loved him so much and took such good care of him then–still are! They put together the sweetest box of balloons, locally made items, and a remote-control car!

• 

• 

We had a birthday party planned for the afternoon, but we asked Oak what he’d like to do for the day. His request was to see Yaminoo. {I know, buddy–we love her, too!} He also asked for chicken and ice cream, so we went off to Tesco for KFC and Dairy Queen with Yaminoo!

• 

• 

And, y’know those rides that kids ask for every time at the store, and you just keep saying “not today”? Well, birthdays = YES TODAY.

• 

So we rode a few rides. And Yaminoo and I played air hockey, a personal favorite.

• 

• 

Then we headed home to prepare for a birthday party!

We invited a combination of kids from our neighborhood and the expat community that Oak knows, but we tried to stick to his age group and a smallish group of friends (a difficult task in our community, where everyone brings along a sibling or tells their friends to come get free cake). I did love making a little invitation for him to give out to his friends, and particularly seeing his multilingual little life already happening right before our eyes.

• 

• 

It was every bit as chaotic as we thought it might be, attempting to host fifteen or so kids in multiple languages.

• 

• 

It was also every bit as great as we could have imagined.
We bought the dinosaur shaped cake, we hosted the party.
We got to do all the things we’ve been waiting for.
We got to hold the toddler we’ve been waiting for!

May there be many, many more!

On the way back from Yangon, we stopped in Bangkok for the weekend. Since we were already paying the flight to go through, we thought we’d enjoy some more fun as a family!

Bangkok had more highs than lows, but still had some lows. We’re still learning how to address some discipline issues with Oak, while working toward attachment and language skills. All while learning to do life in the community with a toddler, deal with chikungunya, and manage mounds of paperwork.

Oh, and make sure he eats, sleeps, and has clothes to wear.

It’s was three months ago today we met him; and what a full three months!

Here I’ll just mention our highest highs from Bangkok.

• 

1) Some friends in Mae Sot mentioned a free exhibit offered at one of the universities in Bangkok. It was sponsored by an eco-friendly toy company and had a variety of educational activities for kids to do.

• 

• 

2) We did IKEA. It’s sort of a high, sort of a low; I usually walk in loving it and leave hating it! But Oak had fun playing with all the toys. He also LOVES chairs, particularly stackable ones, so we did some re-stacking of chairs and stools.

• 

3) The trains. Our favorite hotel is within view of the BTS line, so trains are running all day every day. They can be seen from every floor and the swimming pool and the street, so we did a lot of shouting, “TRAIN!” And of course we rode it around town, which Oak really, really loves.

• 

• 

4) While we were there we went to our favorite pizza place in town, of course. We’ve both decided it might be our favorite pizza in the world, so we frequent it. We’ve been known to tell friends in Mae Sot to try it; we’ve taken family members who visit.

We like it.

This time one of the waitresses came right up to us to tell us she’d seen us on the news! She recognized us when we were all in yellow for our interviews about adoption.

I’m not sure what it says about us that a pizza place nine hours from our home recognizes us, but we’ll take it. 🍕🍕🍕

5) One morning at the hotel, the staff in the hallway were speaking Burmese to one another. I heard it from the room and mentioned something to Stephen. Oak, too, heard it and pointed toward the door, so I asked if he heard the Burmese and if he wanted to go say hi. He was so excited, so we went out to tell the staff we speak Burmese! It’s so fun seeing how fast he’s picking up both Burmese & English, even able to recognize it and separate it from Thai and other languages.

6) The weekend was also Thai Mother’s Day, and my first with Oak! After a few years of being honored at church, but also wishing it wasn’t the neighbor kids giving me a flower, it was a treat to hold him.

• 

• 

Trying to get to my Starbucks coffee without walking the babe wrapped in my arms: first world problem.

When we checked in to fly home, the airline had a photo booth set up for Mother’s Day. As we went by, the explained they would print out a photo for free. Stephen, with three bags in tow, kept walking toward the counter, and the employee looked at me dumbfounded: “Free! I said free. He didn’t understand?” I explained we’d just check in all these and be right back. We did, and it was totally worth it.

And now we’re home. With visas! (Clearly I’m still celebrating over here.)

High: Yangon was so good to us! First, we were greeted with a personal sign at the hotel.

• 

Low: These steps entering the hotel, which we had to climb multiple times a day with chikungunya and a two-year-old. Imagine your great-grandmother climbing them three times a day, and that was me. 😢

High: The hotel had a fish pond, where we could say “hi” and “bye” to the fish each time we passed! The staff also let Oak feed them, which was just so sweet (and he’d seen it on Mister Rogers 😍).

• 

Low: He decided one day to feed the fish an orange slice as we went by. While it was sweet that he shared, Stephen had to pull it out!

High: It is so nice to speak the language of the place you are! {What a novel idea.🙄} I know it’s our odd life and choices that make it so we live in Thailand while working with and speaking to Burmese folks, but it was so fun to speak to everyone! It was so easy. It was also fun that Oak has learned a few Burmese phrases and was a big hit with everyone we encountered!

High: We got our one year visas! And since that was the goal and a miracle, it was a very big high to our trip!

High: We found some lovely restaurants and enjoyed the Burmese food so much. Almost every place also had lovely staff who would love on Oak, bringing toys or taking him for a bit. At this particular restaurant, as we paid and started to leave, Oak gave the waiter a kiss on the cheek, much to the waiter’s & our surprise 😂

• 

High: Our hotel had a lovely view of People’s Park & Shwedagon Pagoda–even more stunning at night.

• 

• 

High: We were able to enjoy some really lovely historical places in the city. We visited the Secretariat, where the top eight leaders in the 1940s were assassinated. This was a huge piece of history, and having read and studied quite a lot of Burmese history, we really enjoyed seeing the restored British buildings and seeing the history captured there.

• 

• 

• 

Low: Bringing a two-year-old to museums and historical sites isn’t too easy.

• 

High: We visited the National Museum; our favorite exhibition being the history of the Burmese language. Since it has become a huge part of our lives to study this, we found it so intriguing.

Low: One of the staff members at the museum followed us for an entire wing, excited that we spoke Burmese. She was also thoroughly confused at Oak, perhaps not understanding the idea of adoption. She commented multiple times, “But he doesn’t look like either of you.”

High: The British influence on Myanmar has left some beautiful architecture in Yangon, including this cathedral!

• 

• 

High: It rained nearly our whole time in the city, which is a high for us! We love rainy, chilly days. It was beautiful and dreary. And if you’re going to either be wet from sweat or rain, I’d choose rain any day.

• 

High: The tea shops! We really love Burmese culture. It feels like home, and we just enjoyed so many moments of this trip.

• 

High: We went to a pizza place to celebrate our successful visas, and found a surprise play place! Not only did we eat delicious pizza, but Oak was able to run and play. He loved it!

• 

High: We followed this with ice cream in the downstairs shop.

• 

• 

Low: We broke all three spoons they gave us.

(These lows are seeming very minor. Clearly this trip was great 😊)

High: There is a circular train around Yangon–a personal favorite of mine. We took Oak for a trip on the train, and he loved it! He was thrilled even when we were delayed for flooded tracks.

• 

High: Rangoon Tea House is a modern, fun twist on the traditional Burmese tea shop. And it lived up to the hype! It was some of the best Burmese fare I’ve ever had, and a lovely environment.

• 

Low: We spent one morning in search of a few promised parks. It really resulted in an hour walk, a few taxi rides, and some disappointing parks.

• 

Low: Part of the playground equipment a drop off blocked with bamboo, while another part was held up by a ladder. 😳

High: This kid is still fun and adorable.

• 

High: Oak has really liked watches recently, so as an incentive for good behavior he earned a watch over a few days. We made a trip to the local shop to pick out a watch for him. He was so proud! And even went back to show the hotel staff.

• 

• 

• 

Overall, Myanmar isn’t always considered the comfiest place to be, but we love it. Stephen and I were both amazed at how at home we felt, how much we loved using the language, how much we loved seeing Oak with the Burmese staff. We left with new visas, a few lovely days as a family, and relatively few lows!

Chikungunya: code for THE WORST.

Really, it means “to become contorted” in a Tanzanian language where it was first identified.

If you aren’t sure what it is, chikungunya is a mosquito-transmitted virus, similar to dengue fever or Zika. The symptoms are high fever, joint pain, itchy rash, & joint swelling. And Stephen and I were lucky enough to get it (with about half of our town!) last month.

At our public hospital (used by many legal, local residents (but doesn’t include many illegal or legal immigrants) was reporting 200 new cases per day in late July, in addition to those who weren’t going to the hospital or visited other clinics or hospitals. Nearly half of our community had it. Thankfully, Oak hasn’t gotten it yet!

Of all the things Stephen & I have dealt with here in Mae Sot–dengue fever, dog bites, scabies, food poisoning, staph infections–we’d both say chikungunya has been the worst. (We both had scabies for four months before it was diagnosed. My staph infections led to two surgeries. Dengue is also called bone-crushing disease. Guys, it’s AWFUL.)

I woke up on a Sunday morning and walked out of the room wondering, “Hmm. It feels like my foot is broken. How do I not remember hitting it? Or dropping a huge piece of furniture on it?”

I limped around, until a few hours later, my other ankle suddenly weakened. It felt sprained. I was so confused: how did I not recall these injuries? I didn’t even remember bumping anything.

Within a few hours, I had a high fever and everything throbbed. I remember laying in bed that afternoon and thinking the pillow was so painful. Both of us would wake ourselves in the night to our own groaning.

I laid in bed for two days until my fever subsided and the rash came. Red bumps, all over; shockingly similar to the rash with dengue. And all so, so itchy. For me, the rash lasted for about five days. The whole week I hobbled around like I suddenly aged a hundred years, leaning over, struggling to get up, groaning in pain. Throughout the community, you could see exactly who had it: we were truly contorted.

As we left for Yangon the following Sunday it was a week after my symptoms started. Stephen’s symptoms were completely gone at eight days, so as I limped up the steps in the airports and we carted Oak and luggage together, Stephen kept telling me it was almost over.

Yangon and Bangkok were hard. We walked many miles and went up many steps. We carried Oak for days and days. And my pain really didn’t go away. Some days were worse than others, but they were all pretty bad. I was just an old lady making my way through the cities and airports with a toddler.

And then we returned, and I think that’s when it hit me: we were well past eight days. And it was still throbbing. Something different every day or two, but each morning I’d barely stumble out of bed, feeling like my right foot was broken one day, and the next day my neck didn’t move. The following day I couldn’t lift my left arm; the next I couldn’t use my right shoulder.

As it turns out, for some, chikungunya symptoms of pain and joint swelling can last anywhere from a month up to a year. A YEAR, folks. Stephen laid in bed on the first day he was sick, reading up on the CDC website and telling me about this approximately ten percent of people with long-lasting symptoms. I told him that was pessimistic: why would that be him? It will be fine.

He told me that if half the community gets it, ten percent actually becomes pretty high. And while those statistics are hard to argue, I still felt it was pessimistic.

But its looking like I’m in this ten percent. My optimism didn’t even help me.

Instead, I’m slowly–very, very slowly–stepping out of bed every morning to see which bone will feel broken that day. I’m going to sleep with swollen feet and struggling to use my swollen fingers to open water bottles. I’m still waking Stephen when I groan from pain the middle of the night.

Guys, I’m OLD all the sudden. With a two year old! Whom, I might add, really struggles to understand why one day mom can’t walk and the next she can’t pick him up.

It’s THE WORST.

So, say a prayer with us! Please pray I’m nearly done. One month comes next week, and I’m praying, praying, praying that its nearly over.

On Friday, we went to pick him up at the children’s home, another hour or so drive.

He ran to greet us, and we did a tour of goodbyes. So many of his caregivers had bought personal gifts for him, little outfits and stuffed animals and toys. It was so sweet to see how loved he was.

• 

And then we signed papers, and took him back to our apartment-for-a-week in Bangkok!

We slept for quite a while that first afternoon. We were all pretty tired.

• 

The first week went surprisingly smoothly. We had a blast playing, reading, swimming. He was happy and playful and loving; he adjusted almost perfectly to us and a new place.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

We did a little shopping, too, because it turns out our little guy is small: our size two clothes were falling off, and we went back to buy 12-month clothes and a couple pairs of 4-6 month shorts.

• 

And we had to clean out the air conditioners because we found mold that was giving him a runny nose. Thankfully, he’s a great and adorable little helper who already wants to be just like his dad. 😍

• 

• 

It was a beautiful week, and the time with just the three of us was a great start.

• 

• 

The following Wednesday was our meeting with the board. We were nervous, to say the least, but it went quite smoothly. We were there with nineteen other families, all matched that week! We were first, as believe the only family living in Thailand. Most were European families that had flown in just to pick up their children.

The board asked basic questions, and seemed to like that we’ve lived here quite a while. They loved how well he was adjusted to us, his charm helped: he’s great at hellos, goodbyes, and sawadee-khaps, so he wins hearts quickly.

• 

And they said yes! We have a beautiful piece of paper that says he’s ours, pending home visits over the coming six months!

• 

• 

And with that, meet our son: Oak Allen.

• 

• 

His official Thai name on his passport is different, but Oak is a nickname given to him by his mother. He was also called this in the home, so that’s the only name he knows. We love it, the strength of Oak and beauty of trees. We love that Psalm 144:12 in The Message reads, “Make our sons in their prime like sturdy oak trees, our daughters as shapely and bright as fields of wildflowers.” We also love that his room is woodland creatures, with bunnies and foxes and deer, and our little Oak fits right in.

January has been good to us.

We are still waiting to hear from the adoption agency though, and this waiting is wearing beyond description. We anticipate that 2019 will either hold the celebration of long-awaited miracles or the mourning of long-hoped for dreams. We aren’t sure yet; but that is still tiring on the 23rd of January.

But January has been good to us.

We have made some really intentional, difficult decisions. The Breakfast Club is no longer serving breakfast every day. Instead, we take our mornings slow over coffee together. It’s doing wonders for our sanity.

This year, Stephen won’t be hosting OneHouse: Live worship nights each month, but instead focusing on the OneHouse albums and recording projects. This is both a great loss and a great gain.

Flour & Flowers is still baking fresh bread and arranging beautiful bouquets every Friday, but we are no longer offering deliveries. We now have pick-ups available at a local restaurant. My Friday afternoons are loving it.

We’ve shifted around Playhouse and Schoolhouse and The Reinforcers to make it better serve the community and more possible for us. We’ve added one of my favorite ladies into Sojourn Studios jewelry making. Starting next Friday, we’ll have Family Dinner every Friday with our employees and their families.

We’re shaking things out and shifting them around; breathing in the fresh systems and fresh starts. And it’s been good to us.

But there are things I wish I could capture photos of.

I wish I had a photo of Mway Mway on Monday, as she sat across from me with her mermaid drink at the coffee shop, in Christmas fleece pajama pants and a fleece sweatshirt with the Playboy bunny on it. She had just finished an internship at a local salon, and we talked about her goals for this year and the years to come.

She has big dreams and a great heart; she’s also a teenager and we’ve been fighting some battles as of late. There’s been a number of days she hasn’t liked me. But that day, with her purple and blue drink with whipped cream and cereal sprinkled on top (#thisisasia), we laughed and smiled and hoped that our life paths might continue to cross for a few more years to come. I met her at age eight; we employed her when she returned from Bangkok at age fifteen. I hope that I get to be at her wedding. I hope I get to see her proudly open her own salon.

I wish I had a photo of Yin Myo Thoo handing out water to the kids at the door. She told them to take turns–to have a little and then pass it to the next person. Then I heard, “Don’t do that to him! Tell him you’re sorry.”
… “Sorry.”

Nine years later, we’re #winning, even without a photo.

I wish I had a photo of Yaminoo among her friends at church. She’s confident, she’s beautiful. She’s thriving. That little six-year-old is a teenager, with a bicycle and a phone, falling in love with Jesus.

I wish I had a photo of Pyint Soe on Sunday, singing and clapping along during the church service while he runs sound and manages the Powerpoint with Stephen. I caught a glimpse of him last week, and I’m just so thankful for what God’s doing in him. I wish I could capture how much my heart hopes for him.

I wish I had a photo of Thida on Thursday, telling me a story of someone who had misspoken of their family. She was telling me that she told her daughter, “God knows. He knows the truth.” Yes, he does; and it’s beautiful to hear you declare that to your family.

We’re happy to be off to a good start, even without photos that capture it!

There is an organization in town that offers food donations to poor communities every quarter-or-so. I’m sure they have a system, or some way to communicate it, because everyone in a mile or so radius come to our street and plays in our yard until the car arrives. Somehow, they know.

And it’s a huge community event, while everyone waits in line to write their name down and show their number of kids–only those present are counted in the rations–and take home a bag (or a few bags for some families!) of food.

Tonight, Stephen was coming back from a bike ride as one mother stop to talk to him. This conversation occurred in Burmese:

“Stephen, you’re friends are very nice! They gave us a lot of food!”
“Oh, I don’t know them. They aren’t my friends.”
“No, you’re friends over there. They gave us food.”
“I don’t know them; we aren’t friends.”
“Yes! They are from America! Your friends! Over there!”
“Yes, I don’t know them.”

She then turned to her daughter, who speaks pretty good English, and told her Stephen didn’t understand. Tell him in English, “Your American friends over there, they are very nice and gave us food.”

“Yes, I don’t know them, but I’m very glad they are helping!” Apparently all foreigners are dear friends of ours!

Stephen came into shower, and a bit later another friend came running to the door. “The Americans! They want to meet you!” I went out to talk to them, finding a group of two foreigners–neither American by the accent, both living elsewhere in Asia–and two Asians, likely Thai & Burmese. They were indeed waiting to talk to us and asked how long we’ve been here and what we do. One of the translators kept repeating, “They just said so many good things about you! They said we must meet you because you are so kind.”

It was great to meet them really, and they were working with a Catholic organization seeking unity among different religions. We love it when other churches are pouring into the community in any way, but particularly with food donations: this is something we simply can’t venture into. The minute we begin giving out food we’d have endless streams. But for them to come regularly and bless these families with gifts of food means so much to them, and they do know they are connected to churches. It all makes a great little picture of Jesus’ love, from many different directions and people.

And, it also gives us a laugh. So thankful our friends came to share food today 🙂