The House Collective

this boy.

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As Covid remains controlled in Thailand, it’s been lovely to have Oak back in school and have more time out in the community. And he’s just too cute to miss some of this.

He’s loving music and knows the words and beats to so many songs. He can identify a song by the first few measures, just like the other musician in our home. ☺️

Living in a community center means you usually have a few “aunties” or “older siblings” to listen to your masterpieces, and sometimes even a few friends to make a band.

After reading his Roaring Rockets book, Oak showed an interest in space. We have started studying a bit about the planets and even made our own “oxygen helmets” and “gravity boots”!

Of course, Dad stepped it up a bit.

This boy brings us so much fun!

feeling old and loving youth.

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Per usual, every season looks different for us. And ’tis the season for youth!

As things unfolded after our COVID quarantine here in Mae Sot, we have seen more and more opportunities for the youth in our community. I can’t always explain how things unfold, but we have a youth room now. And twice a week, we have youth night: one night with dinner, English and games; a second with a bible study and games. For English, we are doing a study on Planet Earth, and we’re all learning so much! For our bible study, we are working through the Alpha Series for youth, and we are really enjoying the conversations it’s opening up.

We also mix in a few birthdays and movie nights! And they are loving the new games we have set up on the projector each week.

We also have a whole lot of youth working with us, particularly Stephen. We have hired Pyint Soe full-time, so he works with us five days a week. He continues to serve at church, running sound and Powerpoint, and manages all of the correspondence with our pastor. He also makes the bulletin and oversees four other youth helping to gather the materials for each week. Through this, they are all learning live sound, Powerpoint, typing in Burmese, and other computer skills.

We also have these youth creating a database of music resources for the Burmese church. Pyint Soe is also overseeing this: teaching three teenagers from our church to type in Burmese and use computers regularly, as well as overseeing all the data entry. He’s incredibly organized and a great teacher; and he and Stephen are quite similar. He’s perfect for this!

Further, Stephen continues to train Pyint Soe and two of the other youth on sound recording and editing.

They are working on two different projects right now as they continue to do at-home education because of COVID. Their more-open schedules are allowing them to continue working, and a few of them are practicing & learning musical instruments two to three times per week.

In all, this hires seven youth in our church and community each week, providing snack money for those living at the church with their needs provided for. For those in our community, this helps to provide for their families each week.

Beyond this, Stephen also has two interns from the local technical college working with him for six months. They are working on an album as a part of OneHouse–including weekly translation nights!

As you can see this adding up, it’s busy. Thankfully, we have Lun helping is all of this! Also thankfully, Oak loves the youth; he can join for Planet Earth, and our meals with the youth and translators. It is fun to hear him call for his “big sisters” and “big brothers” when they walk in the door. He also prays for them every night before bed.

That said, having your toddler call the youth his brothers and sisters has a way of making you feel quite old. Then I cringed at one of the girl’s gaudy make-up, and encouraged another not to just stare at their phones all day, and then crashed into bed after doing the dishes at 9:30pm…it’s all making me feel a bit old.

Even feeling old, it is so fun to have this time with the youth every week. They are all in really pivotal seasons, both making big decisions now and having more on the horizon.

Speaking of all the decisions they have on their horizons–leave it to me to have a language blunder & make a story!

We have a prayer board at the front of our church, and last week I was reading it, where it had 26.07.2020 in big letters, and then an announcement. I didn’t know the first word, but the second is “celebration”–used often in wedding ceremonies–and then had two names: Khiang Khaing Win, who comes to youth and works with us, and another name I didn’t know.

I sort of panicked: getting married? She’s only fifteen! And she’s living at the church–the same place Yaminoo lives and is also fifteen. My brain was scrambling. Was she pregnant and they were requiring her to marry? What brought this on?! I hadn’t even heard of a boyfriend. It all seemed so fast, and I was completely overwhelmed. I was already trying to figure out how I’d make a cake in the next week, because I knew I’d be asked to provide the wedding cake.

Then they announced it up front–the following week, a word I didn’t know + the word sounding like wedding; everyone responding happily…I was overwhelmed.

After the service, I ran up to Yaminoo and asked, “She’s getting married? I don’t understand! Who?”
To which Yaminoo responded, “Yes! Khaing Khaing Win! Wait? What?”
“She’s getting MARRIED?”
“NO! WHAT?!”

Turns out the word I didn’t know and kept skipping was the word for baptism. A baptism celebration. No cake needed, no boy involved, and nothing to panic over. And a week’s notice now seemed acceptable 🙄

Yaminoo and I cleared it up, but of course the crazy foreigner lady’s language blunder made the rounds.

But we did have a lovely thing to celebrate this Sunday!

youthfulness.

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This might be our favorite crew right now. We have been spending more and more time with the youth in the community, and we feel like so much is happening for them. The hope is vibrant.

For many of these students, we’ve known them since they were six or eight. Now they are teenagers, in high school or finishing it up. They are making vital decisions about how they will live; how they will emulate their parents and brothers and sisters or how they won’t. They are working outside of school, and we’re desperate to keep them attending. They are on phones and at football fields after school; we’re doing our best to be involved and be present.

Many of you know of The Reinforcers, students Stephen has been training in live sound reinforcement. As the kids have grown and situations have changed, this is changing often, too. But in short: it’s growing! And it’s amazing.

We currently have three Reinforcers: Pyint Soe & La Point are brothers, and Yedi is a cousin. We’ve all known them a decade! Pyint Soe is taking his final high school exam this week and we’ll be celebrating his graduation this weekend. He’ll be continuing with us in a heavy part-time roll as he waits to get his exam results and decide about university options. La Pyint & Yedi are working extra over the summer with some recording projects, and partnering with two other youth from a local Burmese church. Stephen is teaching recording and coordinating projects every week for all five of them.

We also recently hired another teenager, Thaw Thaw, who is our new Computer Manager. We have three desktop computers available for the older kids to play games and video games together during our open house hours. It’s our effort to keep kids in a safe place, encouraging collective community play, rather than individualized phone time or the nearby questionable hangout.

Thaw Thaw has been learning new games and teaching the younger kids, while managing it all weekly.

This group is now called The Reinforcers+, since it’s a broad sweep! We’re trying to meet with them regularly in a mentoring capacity. We are addressing difficult topics and trying to give them openness into our lives and our decisions, while challenging them to be intentional with theirs. This past month we met to talk about phone and computer safety and addictions.

They all happened to show up in yellow, then voted for us all to match!

Throughout the year we have a weekly English class for the youth, and we’ve expanded it for the summer. Every Monday, we are watching Planet Earth and doing a workbook about what we are learning using a curriculum created by a local non-profit. We then play games and talk together, again providing safe fun and conversation.

The students are also a part of our Summer Book Club, which I am so very excited about. More on that to come.

And beyond that, we do whatever we can do bring the students together for fun! We want them to trust us and know us. There is a youth worship night held in town every month or two, so we’ve been inviting them to come along. They absolutely love it.

There was also a breakdancing competition a few weeks ago that boys went to watch. And Stephen took one of the guys out for ice cream and games yesterday afternoon.

We’re really excited to have these friends in our home a few days through the week, for English and cajon and guitar and worship nights and games. We love that Oak knows their names. We are hopeful for breaking some generational patterns within the community, and we are really hopeful for their futures!

happenings.

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Our recent happenings, in photos.

Sojourn Studios officially moved out of our home and into their new studio. To end this well, we celebrated!

After their last day in our house, we took the ladies out to purchase bicycles, so they could bike to work the following week. They each bought these out of their savings (win!), and we also had fun.

My son loves these ladies so very much, and they love him.

We also took their families out to dinner that night to a local favorite, where everyone gathers around and cooks the meal together at the table over a fire. It was fun; it was crazy. Our biggest win was convincing all the husbands to join, and we are so excited for how far these relationships have come in that way.

It also meant Oak’s two best friends in the community came along, and because the car was full, they were all in the back with me. He was LOVING it.

As a present, we had this digital artwork made by a friend in Vietnam and had it framed for each of them.

A non-profit circus organization, Spark! Circus, tours Mae Sot every year around this time, and they offered their annual public performance. We took some of the community to join us, and Oak absolutely loved it.

He is still talking about the man who blew fire out of his mouth, and how it was hot and he got wet, because…well, it’s a small town, and we were on the front row.

The kids are still in our house many days of every week, and we are still surprised at all the shenanigans.

At Christmas, one of the gifts we gave was a waffle maker. It came with an evening of teaching, which we only got to this month! But we brought the works and taught the whole family a few different ways to make waffles.

Another local non-profit was offering a cake baking & decorating course last week, and Thida and I signed up to join! Thida makes all our community cakes now–often a few a week, for about seventy kids! We have been using the depression cake recipe, but we’ve decided to make smaller-sized, better-tasting, more special cakes now.

She and I went on Tuesday to bake our cakes, and returned on Wednesday to make icing and decorate them.

And last, Oak’s fancy stage. His two favorite outfits lately are: his jeans, with Mom & Dad both wearing them, too (so far the 100 degree weather doesn’t phase him); and his longyi. It’s a traditional Burmese outfit; a casual cotton one would be worn daily, but this is more wedding-appropriate. He chooses it weekly, at least.

It’s also worth noting: his longyi is maroon with gold patterning, and his shirt is pink silk with a fake diamond at the top.
WOW.

He’s the best-dressed wherever we go, and it’s very popular!

That’s us; our best happenings!

the collective christmas 2019: bits & bobs.

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I had the hopes of fitting this into one post this year, but who am I kidding? It’s the most wonderful time of the year! And this, partnered with a three-year-old experiencing Christmas-in-community for the first time? There’s just too much goodness.

I’m starting with the bits and bobs of Christmas that happened throughout December, following our lovely #မိသားစုmonday of setting up our Christmas tree.

Our tree soon became a photo opp for the community, so much that one friend said in English, “It’s the most fantastical tree I have ever seen!” I also overheard another friend telling someone else, “You can come take pictures in front of Kelli & Stephen’s tree. They’ll even take the picture and send it to your phone. And it’s free!”

We did quite a lot of cookie decorating, including a gingerbread cookie evening with our friend Jason’s English class. After teaching a group in our community for nearly a year, they are heading back to the States in a few months, and I’ll be picking up teaching this class. A cookie decorating party & English lesson was their farewell.

We also took advantage of a local coffee shop offering pre-made cookie dough and icing! This was our celebration of the end of a year of self-defense, consisting of a twelve-week course and six months of regular review.

The “mall” in town also had a huge Christmas tree this year, so I took the ladies by to see it. And mostly to take photos (for free!).

This is Asia, and we’re here for it 👊

I also went back that evening to the same coffee shop offering the same pre-made dough & icing (and their own clean up!) to do this with Oak & Stephen–for very, very obvious reasons.

We had a lovely time as a family, too! 🥰

Earlier in December, we did a 5k walk/run with Sojourn Studios to benefit local migrant education. This means we woke up extremely early with two of the jewelry artisans on one of the coldest Sundays of the year and walked–with a very little bit of running–a 5k!

We also had a Sojourn Studios Christmas party at a really lovely restaurant in town, and the ladies & their kids all loved it!

Oak was excited to have two of his best friends along.

Closer to Christmas, we did two Sunday night movie nights to watch The Star & Home Alone with the community. We pulled out all the stops: we bought dozens and dozens of hotdogs for snacks!

We did a craft with the kids just before and had red & green beans for the kids (and adults) to string.

In the midst of all the Christmas excitement, we also had a new baby born into the community! Pyo Pyo, one of our bread ladies, had her third child– a healthy little girl!

And still amidst the chaos, we saw Phway Phway off to university! The university system in Myanmar is a force to be reckoned with: they decide the university you’ll attend, what you’ll study, and when you’ll go. But they don’t tell you until just days before! It was a whirlwind for us walking through this with her through November and December, trying to maneuver the logistics while she also maneuvered health issues and a surgery the first week of school. She’s now healthy and attending class!

And, drum roll, please:
She’s the first in her family to graduate high school.
She’s the first in her family pass Myanmar’s infamously difficult matriculation.
She’s the first in her family to attend university.
She’s the first in our community attend university!
She’s the first recipient of The House Scholarship Fund!

More on that to come.
For now, we couldn’t be prouder. Really, I feel oddly parental-proud and we both nearly cried sending her off!

Stephen and I went to see the new Star Wars, because somehow they’ve managed to become a Christmas tradition?! Not sure how I feel about that, but an oversized Star Wars sweatshirt? I’m here for that.

And last, of course we started shopping for the community! Oak did surprisingly well at purchasing hundreds of toys that weren’t for him!

And then we started wrapping.

That was quite a few bits and bobs to fill the holiday season, but the main events are still to come! 😊

beautiful things.

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It has been quite a month.

We really love living here, and we love this community. But I’ll be honest–and I have been here for years, so you know this already–we’re often in over our heads. And this has been true for nearly a decade now.

And then we adopted a toddler–who can run and shout and touch hot things!–but isn’t able to say much and is doing his best to grasp at English, Burmese, and remnants of Thai.

And so I’m looking through all the photos and realizing just how much there is to say: so many great things! And even I say them, I know they are each too amazing and too great to have waited this long!

But other things won out in priority–mostly keeping our little community center running and hiring eleven people, while keeping a toddler fed and rested and as minimally injured as possible.

First, baptisms! Our church celebrated three baptisms in the past month, including one of the teenagers in our community! He’s an English and guitar student, and his family attends our church regularly. So thankful to celebrate this with them!

Also we just generally love our church: baptisms by the reservoir, big hats and umbrellas.

Our church also hosted a three-day discipleship training, which Stephen and The Reinforcers managed sound and PowerPoint for.

This week after church they gave out free umbrellas for the children and students who are walking to school every day during rainy season. We love their intentionality in the community! We also love that umbrellas are legitimately something everyone gets excited about, kids and teenagers alike.

One of my best girls, Yaminoo, which many of you remember, now lives at the church with a few other young women. She still attends school with many of her friends in the community and she comes to our house after school and through the summer for English classes.

And, after she and I both waiting patently week after week, seeing Oak only on Sundays and Tuesdays, he decided he liked her. So while this photo isn’t all that amazing, it was a milestone. It felt like he just decided to like his big sister!

We are still doing Family Dinner, but we now host it once per month. We all gather around the colorful, delicious meals that Thida cooks up. Then we have a teacher come and attend a Life Skills class together.

Over the past few months, every Family Dinner has held a big announcement: in April we had just received Oak’s photo and shared it with them; in May we announced we’d be leaving the next week to pick him up! Then he joined us for June.

Our sweet sister Phway Phway also came with great news: she passed her Grade 10 matriculation! For those outside of Burma, this won’t mean much: but it’s incredible. Only about 1/3 of the population passes, and she received high marks. She’ll be able to attend university in December if she can determining a funding plan.

Her mom, Thida, was SO PROUD. We were all just beaming for her!

She returned from a year studying in Burma in March, shortly after we visited her. We have connected her and subsidized a position for her at a local organization–the same organization that provides our language classes and self-defense course; also our Life Skills class and previously our sewing training! There, she is working with other Christians, getting more comfortable in her English, and learning basic office and management skills.

She’s planning to work there until December, when she’s hoping to be off to university!

Sojourn Studio is still present in our home a few days a week, and the ladies are working hard on new designs.

They are just releasing three new stud designs, which will soon be available on Etsy under Sojourn Studio. Our neighbor ladies make great models!

Our Schoolhouse classes have been restructured now that there is a toddler to be looked after, but they are still happening! I am now teaching English on Tuesday, twice on Thursday, Friday, and then twice on Saturday. Stephen is still teaching guitar twice and cajon twice through the week, and recently started a coding class. One student is really doing well with coding and learning some great problem-solving skills.

Our house is still a playhouse five days a week in the afternoon!

This is Oak’s favorite friend. They are always up for a hug.

Her mom told us today that she asked about going to English class–Toddler Schoolhouse. Her daughter said she didn’t want to go this week, until she heard Oak was back from Bangkok and then decided to join! 😍

Sometimes, when family disputes happen, our house becomes a playhouse much later into the evening. Thankfully, we always have snacks and toys and, now, a playmate!

We’re also still celebrating community birthdays, sometimes with cake and sometimes with something extra special! The newest Reinforcer just turned fifteen this month, so we had a small party with his friends.

See how beautiful it is? Our church is growing and thriving. Our friends are producing beautiful work and accomplishing great things! Our neighbors are coming to play and rest. And now there’s always a toddler in the middle of it!

welcome to the chaos, buddy.

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We’ve wondered for years–literally!–how it would work to bring a child, particularly through adoption, into the bilingual, communal lifestyle that we live. It’s an odd life we live anyway, but this would be a whole new curveball.

There are days it really hasn’t worked: you can ask a few English students who really didn’t get a lesson at all a few times! There are days I think we just can’t do it, with so many people in and out of the house while trying to create a safe place for attachment. There are days we are struggling to make a schedule that will flex enough for a toddler, but allow us to continue all that we’ve started.

But there are other days that it works beautifully. And today was one of those.

Since every morning is an early morning, we had breakfast outside in our camp chairs.

We shared our eggs and yogurt with a few friends and then said our goodbyes when the “bus” came to get them for school.

He loves that two or three ladies come to work every day, and he runs to the door to greet them. This morning, as they began their day of jewelry making and I sat in on the starting instructions, they helped him to roll out clay and cut out a few pieces.

He rode with me to drop off our friend at work, and we had a day as a family, including a bike ride with dad, cooking with mom, puzzles, and Hot Wheels.

At 4pm, our friends showed up to play. He loves greeting Thida at the door, loves the hat she lets him wear, and loves that she will sharpen every colored pencil that he asks her to. (He really loves this. I run out of both steam and pencils. Thida goes for the second end.)

While he eats his papaya for a snack, all the toddlers line up for their bites. It’s a bit of an assembly line.

Tonight, Stephen taught The Reinforcers about sound. After Oak & I went for a run, he wanted to watch dad while he ate. So dinner and show!

He enjoyed his very locally, neighbor-made tortilla wrap.

Dad’s hilarious to watch with a microphone apparently, and both Reinforcers are pretty fond of O, too.

Today, I just rejoiced that he has so many lovely people in his life, and they are in and out of our home every day. I love that he is learning sharing in a unique way. I love that he’s absorbing this chaotic blend of Burmese, Thai, and American culture. I love that he’s hearing two and three languages every single day, and speaking all three in bits and pieces through the days, too! And I love that we’re learning how to live here as a family. God’s been really gracious to us in this season of shifting, and today was a beautiful picture of that.


thingyan 2019.

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Every year in April, Southeast Asia celebrates it’s New Year with a water festival. In Thailand, it’s Songkran; in Burma, it’s Thingyan.

What it is: New Years, a country-wide water fight, a lot of chaos, a lot of alcohol, a lot of dancing. And it’s hot—one of the hottest weeks of the year.

Honestly? It’s sort of sad in our community. Parents without work and with a lot of alcohol kind of creates sad situations, especially for the kids. In recent years we’ve tried to leave so we don’t have to see all the sadness.

But we had an idea this year to try to counteract it: how could we engage? How could we give the children some safe fun? Could we provide a safe place for teens to play and discourage drunkenness? How could we make sure the women have a safe place if they need it?

So we stayed home for the week instead of traveling, which felt like kind of a big commitment in and of itself; not entirely sure what we were signing up for. We had a few projects we hoped to work on during the days: Stephen had an electric drum set to finish and I had a dollhouse to paint for the kids. And then we made plans for the evenings, to provide alternative fun, distractions, or whatever it may be.

I was more scared and anxious than I expected. We did spend one afternoon at the emergency room, so the fears weren’t entirely unfounded. But overall I just spent more time realizing how much I love these families, these teenagers; how much I care about the choices they make. How much I wish it was culturally & relationally acceptable for me to request a check-in text on occasion!

With all the concerns and risks; watching the teens leave with friends and without helmets in the morning, hoping they’d come back! -I really liked having things planned every evening. We got to see that everyone did in fact come home.

The first evening was for the girls: nails night.

Mway Mway is dreaming of opening her own salon someday, so we purchased a few special items and I pulled out my nail polish collection. And she did women’s & girls’ nails for a few hours!

We asked that people contribute 5 baht–or 15 cents–for both hands and 5 baht for both feet, so she took home a few dollars. And really, we just had fun listening to music & chatting.

The second evening was movie night: the easiest and by far the most successful!

We pulled out the projector and sound system and started off with Mr. Bean’s Holiday. A hit.

The snacks were also a hit. Toward the end of the first movie, a grandmother came to ask her four-year-old grandson, Are you coming to eat rice? To which he replied, Nope! Whoops.

This was followed by Avengers: Age of Ultron with Burmese subtitles, which a few teens and men stayed late for.

And the last night, we had a youth night. We painted pictures–mostly landscapes of mountains and rivers.

And then we played games and celebrated a birthday!

And overall, we made it. Just the one trip to the emergency room. Just learning to trust in all the things we can’t stop or change. Just learning how much we are invested here, for better & for worse!

Here’s to a New Year, and hoping next week is a bit cooler!

languages schlanguages: in real life.

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Our life is full of languages. The good news: this means it can make a mess of all of us equally. We’re never alone.

One of our bread ladies has faithfully been coming to English each week. She does about 45 minutes of Rosetta Stone, and then we practice together for ten to fifteen minutes: whatever I can get out of her before she looks like she might give up. Right now we are working on:
This is my daughter. This is my son. This is my husband.
My name is Nyein Nyein. I am twenty-six years old.

My favorite is “This is my husband.” Somewhere, quite awhile ago, she learned husband = Stephen. She can’t help it now; her brain has learned it wrong. Every time I ask, Who is this?

This is my Steph…husband.

Every time. She always catches it before the last syllable, but it’s still pretty obvious. And pretty funny.

_________

Aye Aye Naing is nearing two and half, and she’s all toddler. She really loves Stephen and isn’t a huge fan of me. As in, Do you love uncle? YES. Do you love auntie? NO. Side glare included.

The challenge is, she has our names switched. She’ll come to the door and see me, give me the glare:
Kelli?
Hi! How are you?
NO. KELLI.
Yes, do you need something? Do you want to play? Do you want water?
NOOOOOOO! KELLI!!!
Do you want Uncle Stephen?
Yes.
{Right. One moment please, madame.}

_________

Win Moe is another little all-toddler toddler. One afternoon, as she pranced around with a lot of attitude, I said, “Wow, she is sassy! Do you know the word “sassy” in English?” (I said this in Burmese, except for the word “sassy” itself.)

To which her mother replied, “Oh, yes! I do know that word. Sexy, sexy. My daughter is very sexy!”

“No, no, no, NO. Those do sound similar but they are very, very different. Please NEVER say your three-year-old is sexy.”

_________

The Reinforcer, Pyint Soe, knows English. He still comes to study Rosetta Stone once a week and practice with me, which we hope will help with his graduation exam at the end of next year.

Sometimes I have him write a few sentences at home so he can practice new vocabulary and work on his grammar. He came last week using his new word, wedding, with this sentence, “Everyone will die wedding.”

I wasn’t really sure what to make of it. Usually I have a pretty good idea of what he’s getting at, even with errors. Of course he’s watching my facial expression and listening to my silence as I re-read it, scrabbling my brain to determine what he was going for. His face is falling, “Is it wrong?”

Well, I’m not sure. What do you mean?
Everyone will die wedding.
Yes…but, why? Can you tell me why?
Everyone die. Die (he says this in Burmese)–we call this “die,” right?
Yes. I understand “to die.” And “everyone.” But why “at a wedding”?
You said wedding is one day. So I think everyone dies.

Rewind to the previous week, when I was explaining the difference between a wedding and marriage: A wedding is one day, but the marriage is for the rest of their lives. So Stephen and I were married on November 1, that one day event or party; and then we are married for ten years now. So a wedding is one day and the marriage is the years following.

So wedding = one day. Everyone will die one day. And that, my friend, is true.

children everywhere.

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There are still children, everywhere, keeping us on our toes.

Toddler Schoolhouse is still fun and hilarious, each and every week. Thida teaches some Burmese and reads them a story; I teach them some English. We sing songs, and we eat together.

Kyaw Gee is doing absolutely amazing at guitar, particularly as an eleven-year-old! It was a rough start: very passionate in his playing, he broke a few strings and we thought he might break a few guitars by the end. And it was just loud.



But now he’s doing so well! Stephen’s working on teaching him a few songs he might be able to play at church, and he continues to take a lesson with Stephen every week.

Thida is still amazing. In this photo she’s reviewing the Christmas story with her granddaughter.




We have a new Flour & Flowers baby, and she and I spend most of our Fridays like this. 😍