The House Collective

covid food distributions, take four.

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Here we go again!

After a few weeks, it was getting challenging for the youth. Partially, delivering food in 100 degree heat is exhausting. This is also over a couple kilometers, going back and forth; and dealing with people and complaints. So…we revamped. This week, Stephen drove the boys around to different areas, helping with deliveries and trying to help manage the challenge and chaos.

And while we’re getting better and serving more…this isn’t exactly what we’d like to be good at. 🙄 Here’s to hoping it’s just a few more weeks of quarantine in Mae Sot!

our first family easter.

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I felt this at Christmas, and I feel it again now: three-year-olds are great at experiencing wonder. This makes them such fun companions for holidays: just went we start to feel on repeat, they show us the awe.

I loved seeing Oak’s wonder at Christmas: the tree suddenly in our house, the lights, the friends gathering for songs and food, the presents! He loved reading about the story of Christmas; he woke up every day bounding to the advent to open up a cardboard character.

And for Easter, we found it much the same. He loved washing each other’s feet as we talked about Jesus washing his disciples feet; so much so that we re-enacted it three times. He loved the make-shift tomb that we made, while he made a sad face and said, “Jesus. Oww-oww. Sad.”

We checked on Jesus in the tomb–Lego Batman wrapped in toilet paper–and saw the scary Lego CAT guards still standing firm all day Saturday.

And then Sunday. At first sight he shouted, “OH, NO! WHERE JESUS?”

We promised we’d talk about it after breakfast, when we’d all gather around to read the Easter story. But instead, Dad decided to put his deodorant, where Oak found Jesus in the drawer…this time he came bounding to the shower door, “MOM! JESUS! JESUS!” 😂

We had a really lovely Easter. I haven’t had an Easter with our son before; we’ve only celebrated with family gathered around Sunday lunch a few times in the past decade. So for us, it was just really lovely. We enjoyed reading the story and acting it out with a collection of toys.

We enjoyed a morning walk. We enjoyed a dump truck Easter basket and playing outside in crazy Thailand summer heat. We even enjoyed packing up fifty packages of food for our neighbors.

Thankful for so many things to celebrate, and a cheerful little one to point us to joy!

covid food distributions, take three.

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Week three went better than week two, with the first step being to just have more available. It should be noted that week one we gave out about 300 kilograms of rice; week two we increased to 400 kilograms.

This week we purchased 600 kilograms of rice. Plus oil, eggs, tomatoes, cabbage, cucumbers, carrots, onions, and garlic.

And we decided to include something special for Easter. All the families with kids received a bag with a message from us in Burmese, the Easter story in Burmese, a coloring book, colored pencils and sharpener, clay, marbles, a top, one small toy (UNO or a Rubix cube), a couple handfuls of candy, tea, coffee, and a few treats. Those without kids still received the message from us and Easter story, but we only included coffee, tea, candy and a few snacks.

So we packed a whole lot of things over the past few days.

It went smoother today…I think. I still had three families show up at the door, and only two of the teenagers made it today. And they think we need a new plan for next week; so they might be a bit exhausted of all the hullabaloo themselves. I still found myself in tears, because this is still overwhelming.

But we didn’t run out of rice, so we have some bags to spare as families come this week. We even have some eggs and oil to share.

Hopefully the kids are taking a break from starting at devices to color a picture or read the Easter story or play UNO. {…One can hope. That’s what we’re all leaning into these days, and what a better time that for Easter Sunday?}

covid food distributions, take two.

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Our first food distribution was an incredible gift. It went so smoothly and was received so well. In the week following, we had three women come separately to tell us thank you, each with their own stories of waking up without rice and unsure what they’d do on the very day the youth showed up at their door. It was so clear that God had led us in the exact day to distribute the food, and we were thankful, awed, and hopeful.

But I’ll be honest, all the things we feared about beginning food distributions came true the following week. And I didn’t know what to say. So I didn’t. But that doesn’t seem right or truthful.

We did pack up another set of food for forty families last week. There were three not-to-be-forgotten highlights.

First, I ordered rice in pre-sealed bags. This was the wise idea of Stephen, who was over the idea of hand-scooping 300 kilograms of rice with a three-year-old. I went on my own to order it on Friday: I got 40 bags of 10 kilograms each, all packed and sealed. Then on Saturday, after buying all the eggs and oil and vegetables in the market, Thida and I went to pick up the rice. I told her on the way, “Look, I went and tried my best to pick out the best one. We usually buy it at the other shop, where I can say, ‘The one my auntie always buys.’ I couldn’t do that here. I went ahead and bought 400 kilograms, in forty bags. It might have been the wrong kind. I may have way over-paid. It might have been a really bad deal. But I tried, and we’re just going to take it this week. Then, you show me which one is the best deal, and I’ll get that for next week so I know at this shop. I’m sorry if I picked the wrong one and spent way too much money.”

Sometimes, if we are “wasteful”–I cut off too much peel off a pumpkin, throw away the skin on chicken, or pay a few baht more for fruit at this market versus that one–I get scolded. I was nervous I’d gotten the wrong rice or paid a horrible deal; but I was also loving the idea of picking up forty already-packaged bags.

Well, here’s the win: we got there, and Thida was so pleased! She said I’d picked just the right one, and it was cheaper than the other shop! She thought it was wonderful they had bagged it and it looked so nice; it was such a good gift for the community.

She did scold me for not telling her before she’d bought a bag of rice at the other shop 🙄

But this was a big win. Maybe one I can’t really even express, but it was like “an arrival”: I can go to a shop and pick out the “right” kind of rice for our community (of like twenty kinds!) and even get a good deal. WOW.

Second highlight: I got a headstart while Oak napped, which made the whole process much smoother.

And third, he helped for about thirty minutes the second week and did so with glee–an improvement.

Then Monday. It didn’t go smoothly; it was stressful. And those who are helping us–our dear Thida and the three teenage boys–they got the flack with us. They get blamed for being our friends, for not doing enough or not giving enough themselves. It was messy. I ended in tears, far too aware of the situation surrounding us.

The week continued in this, as we had families coming nearly every day to ask for rice. This was people we didn’t know, who had walked kilometers to tell us that they didn’t have any rice and heard we gave some. Could we please help?

This was entirely my fear. We completely ran out of rice by Wednesday, without anything to offer. We spent the week getting help from Lun and her local church.

We had multiple requests for medical help this week; for now just ear infections and prenatal check ups and fevers.

But it felt endless; it felt heavy. On multiple occasions I felt terrified it was only the second week of food distributions, with five on the calendar and unsure how long this really will last. On multiple occasions I felt guilty, trying to enjoy this time as a family or baking something for dinner. On multiple occasions I hated that it fell to us to be the distributors, to make the call; I dreaded this role and power when we started.

If I’m honest, though, that was week two. Nothing that seems blog-worthy; nothing that we might call beautiful. But I still believe God was in it, and I still believe we were doing what we should.

what quarantine looks like for us.

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When you live in a migrant community and run a community center, home quarantines really bring an abrupt end to your life and work as you know it.

If you take away the people, we just have a huge house we aren’t sharing. Our community center is echoes of silence, reminding us of the aunties that didn’t come for work and the youth that aren’t here for class and the kids that aren’t here to play. 

At the same time, because we do live and breathe in this community every other day, it is a rare thing to have so many days as just our family. We are trying to really enjoy these days with Oak, and that has been a gift.

So here’s what quarantine looks like for us.

We are starting every day with a walk or a run. This is keeping mom sane, because she’s a bit high-maintenance about exercise and being outside. There is a patch of trees that rise over the road near us, and it drops flowers every morning between 7:50am and 8:00am. It’s a highlight for both Oak and I! They smell fabulous, and are a beautiful reminder that time marches on.

There is an epic, sprawling highway being built just about half a kilometer behind our house and stretching almost eight kilometers through Mae Sot.

In the morning, we take this for walks. In the evening we take this for bike rides. Usually, at least once a day, we can catch the construction equipment. They let us bike or walk right near them, and we just watch them work, without cones or safety regulations except our own common sense. It’s every three-year-olds dream.

The new road also goes by and through many farms and fields, so there are always goats, cows, chickens, and horses to see. This farm is near to our house and a favorite. Goats and sheep and geese and chickens, oh my!

And wide open roads also create space for kite flying. We’ve been out for this a few times. And Stephen only had to search for the kite in the cornfield twice…

Oak has decided he absolutely loves books these days, and we are reading one after another. Not even two months ago when my sisters came, I was feeling guilty for all the new books they had brought: I felt like we had too many considering our neighbors… And now that I’ve read them all a hundred times, I’m over it. We ordered a new set of books on the second day of our quarantine. And while I’m hoping they arrive soon, knowing our delivery systems I more hope that the quarantine is over before they arrive 😬

And after weeks of telling him not to use loads of soap, we’re now just playing bubbles and soap for hours on end. Why not?

I’ve been excited to have time & space to cook–I’m currently not sharing my kitchen! I also wanted to enjoying cooking & baking with Oak, making things we don’t always have time to enjoy. However, it’s hard to enjoy fancy homemade meals (hollandaise, bagels, pizza, waffles…) while our friends are literally struggling for the next meal. Enter my genius husband’s idea: two meals a day.

We’ve tried to cut back to two family meals a day so that we can enjoy making bread and trying interesting recipes, but not feel as indulgent. (It also makes it more enjoyable to take an hour to prepare a meal from scratch and another hour to feed a toddler!) We also have timed these mid-morning for brunch and late afternoon for an early dinner, allowing us to be outside in the coolest parts of the day. Since most days are reaching over 100 right now, that is making our walks and bike rides more enjoyable.

Oak still has some snacks and meals on our walks and before nap so that he’s still eating three or five times a day. But for us, this–in addition to food distributions in the community–has helped us to balance the needs around us for our lives here and the quarantine lives of our friends and family stateside. It’s so odd to be between two cultures, and I’m often torn between my own privilege and our friends, as you see here, in every. aspect. of. our. lives.)

And we’re still enjoying incredible coffee, which I’m so thankful my husband makes daily.

We also have sweet friends, who even when they are short on rice and food, think of us! Thida brought rice for Oak just a few days into the quarantine, telling us, “I know you don’t really make rice, but he loves it. I’m happy to make it for him.” She brought him a lunch pail with rice, fish, and potatoes.

He absolutely loved the fish, so that when she arrived a few days later, he ran out and leapt to get the lunch pail. Once he’d opened it, he asked her where the fish was! 🤦‍♀️ She said she didn’t know he didn’t like eggs, but she’d bring him fish next time we went to the market. Oh my goodness, we’re still working on politeness and how not to ask our friends for their protein sources. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

As of today, we have found a solution to our visa, which has been a bit of stress during this quarantine. Our visa ended on 5 April, and we need to cross the border that is now closed. We also can’t leave the country with Oak, further complicating the situation. In the end, they have extended our visa here in Mae Sot, but only after two visits to immigration and $115. We are now required to visit immigration every fifteen days, and we’ll pay $115 every 30 days until the border re-opens. That is not ideal–for Covid nor with a toddler nor for our budgets–but we’re happy to be here legally and praying that the border is able to re-open sooner than later.

Until then, at least he’s cute with a mask and did wear it the whole time! {He kept telling me it was wet, and when I did take it off it was very wet. Turns out he’d been licking it or spitting on it the whole time?! Hence why toddlers should stay inside during such an outbreak.}

And so we are trying to do so! We continue to hope and pray for the best for our little migrant community here on the border.

covid food distributions, take one.

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We did our first food distribution on Monday.

I was quite scared as it drew near. We knew it was needed and the right thing to do; and it’s just a simple food distribution.  And while we are nervous for how and when Covid reaches our community, we feel like the lack of work and lack of movement is hurting them economically far before that. For a neighborhood living on daily wages (and sometimes barely living on those), having work cancelled for some, irregular for others, and unsure of what tomorrow will hold is chaotic. The idea of stocking up, even for a few days, is nearly impossible.

But we’ve spent so many years trying to establish boundaries: when we give, how we give. We’ve tried so hard to provide skills and jobs and relationships, not just give stuff. To just distribute food; it goes against so much of what we have worked so hard to create. There is a part of me that is scared we can’t go back; scared it will change the way we go forward.

But that might be how we all describe Covid for years to come.

And all the same, it’s what is needed in this season. It’s what is needed now, and we have to trust that God will provide in every aspect of the needs for community here and for our lives here: financially, physically, strategically, emotionally. We have to trust that he’s a God of completeness as he calls us to be here.  

So, here we go. None of us thought we’d be here in a million different ways. 

On Sunday afternoon we worked as a family of three packing up the food we’d purchased in the market that morning.

Oak helped us put cabbage into bags for ten minutes, and we spent the following two hours trying to prevent him from breaking eggs and smashing vegetables. (#quarantinewithatoddler) We packed up forty bags of rice–six-kilos scooped into flour bags we’ve been storing for something such as this!– and divided out cucumbers, cabbages, eggplant, garlic, onion, duck eggs, and chicken eggs that we’d purchased in bulk. 

Monday we had three teenagers scheduled to come by 8am, so we pulled them out of bed at 8:30am. (Because it’s still summer and they are still teenagers.) We handed out masks, gave them a bottle of hand sanitizer, and explained the goal: to reach the poorest families and those who really needed it.  We gave them a list of families that we knew would need it, and then gave them the authority to decide from there. We talked to them about the goal: to reach those who needed it, the poor. If they don’t need it, encourage people not to take it. If someone needs more, encourage them to share. And while one group of houses is all sharing germs, wash your hands as you go between communities to ensure you don’t pass anything between them. 

And it worked. It went far better than we could have hoped!

We let Oak go outside for the community right around us—with a mask and followed by a shower—to see some friends and share some food. We want him to understand why we are sharing food with our neighbors, why we aren’t seeing our friends, and perhaps even why I got angry when he threw his food earlier this week. 

The boys then trekked all over the neighborhood,, taking load after load of rice by bicycle. Oak’s bicycle seat can hold up to 22 kilos, so that’s helpful!

It was so great to hear their conversations: Does so-and-so need it? …We can ask. What about so-and-so? …No, they will be okay. This family will need it more.

Two of the boys even decided their aunt, who is a bit wealthier and currently on paid leave from two jobs, didn’t really need it as much as other families. 

Or to overhear, “Where are you?” … “Washing my hands!”…”Wash them at the end, not now. Come on!” … “He can wash them whenever he wants. Washing them a lot is good!” 

The boys were such a help. It is extra work for them (and so more money for their families); and much easier on us. We are exposed to different germs than much of our community—our trips to immigration this week, the grocery store, etc—and we don’t want to bring anything into the community.  We also felt that Oak couldn’t go to all the places safely, leaving just one of us to trek around in the heat through many kilos of rice. The boys were able to do it together in just over an hour. 

We also really loved seeing them have the authority to make decisions, to help their communities, and to deal with questions and explanations on their own. It feels like a small way to set an example of what Christ has asked us to do, but equip them to carry it, too. 

And so it begins: Covid Food Distributions, Take 1.

saturdays.

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Or shall I say, The Saturdays That Were.

With the threat of Covid-19 spreading throughout Mae Sot, we have had to cancel our Saturday program through the end of March. But, for a few weeks there, we had a good thing going! We hope it’s back soon!

And we still want to give you a glimpse into it! Each Saturday, we’ve had between forty and fifty students coming, from age two to twelve. [The thirteen and above group comes to English and other activities on Monday, for our youth night.]

We start at 9am with music, where Stephen leads us in guitar and we attempt to lead a group of second-language learners in all the “classics.” I then read a children’s book or two in English, which fulfills all my dreams of a library story time. 🥰

Lun then leads the kids in a bible story until 10am. She leads the children’s ministry at her local church every week, so she’s a pro!

We then gather around for rice, which Thida has made for us all in a superhero-like fashion in a Barbie-sized kitchen. It’s incredible.

After things are devoured and spilled all over and cleaned up, we divide into four groups for classes. The yellow group is our littlest, from about 2-4 years old. They start with Burmese, taught by Thida, and then move to English, taught by Pwin Pyu Hein or I.

The red group is about 5-8, taught first English by Pwin Pyu Hein and I, and followed by a bit of Burmese.

The blue group and green group are older, from 8 to 12, and divided by skill level. They each study more of the Bible story with Lun, now focusing on new English words from that week’s lesson. They also have thirty minutes with another English teacher, sometimes our friends Mia & Bryce, and sometimes me.

And somehow, we manage to teach two languages, songs, and Bible to a whole collection of kids for over two hours each Saturday! While chaotic, it’s pretty incredible to see it happen week after week.

And now we’re realizing how thankful we are for it now that it’s closed for a few weeks; we’re hopeful to back at our best before too long!

youthfulness.

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This might be our favorite crew right now. We have been spending more and more time with the youth in the community, and we feel like so much is happening for them. The hope is vibrant.

For many of these students, we’ve known them since they were six or eight. Now they are teenagers, in high school or finishing it up. They are making vital decisions about how they will live; how they will emulate their parents and brothers and sisters or how they won’t. They are working outside of school, and we’re desperate to keep them attending. They are on phones and at football fields after school; we’re doing our best to be involved and be present.

Many of you know of The Reinforcers, students Stephen has been training in live sound reinforcement. As the kids have grown and situations have changed, this is changing often, too. But in short: it’s growing! And it’s amazing.

We currently have three Reinforcers: Pyint Soe & La Point are brothers, and Yedi is a cousin. We’ve all known them a decade! Pyint Soe is taking his final high school exam this week and we’ll be celebrating his graduation this weekend. He’ll be continuing with us in a heavy part-time roll as he waits to get his exam results and decide about university options. La Pyint & Yedi are working extra over the summer with some recording projects, and partnering with two other youth from a local Burmese church. Stephen is teaching recording and coordinating projects every week for all five of them.

We also recently hired another teenager, Thaw Thaw, who is our new Computer Manager. We have three desktop computers available for the older kids to play games and video games together during our open house hours. It’s our effort to keep kids in a safe place, encouraging collective community play, rather than individualized phone time or the nearby questionable hangout.

Thaw Thaw has been learning new games and teaching the younger kids, while managing it all weekly.

This group is now called The Reinforcers+, since it’s a broad sweep! We’re trying to meet with them regularly in a mentoring capacity. We are addressing difficult topics and trying to give them openness into our lives and our decisions, while challenging them to be intentional with theirs. This past month we met to talk about phone and computer safety and addictions.

They all happened to show up in yellow, then voted for us all to match!

Throughout the year we have a weekly English class for the youth, and we’ve expanded it for the summer. Every Monday, we are watching Planet Earth and doing a workbook about what we are learning using a curriculum created by a local non-profit. We then play games and talk together, again providing safe fun and conversation.

The students are also a part of our Summer Book Club, which I am so very excited about. More on that to come.

And beyond that, we do whatever we can do bring the students together for fun! We want them to trust us and know us. There is a youth worship night held in town every month or two, so we’ve been inviting them to come along. They absolutely love it.

There was also a breakdancing competition a few weeks ago that boys went to watch. And Stephen took one of the guys out for ice cream and games yesterday afternoon.

We’re really excited to have these friends in our home a few days through the week, for English and cajon and guitar and worship nights and games. We love that Oak knows their names. We are hopeful for breaking some generational patterns within the community, and we are really hopeful for their futures!

happenings.

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Our recent happenings, in photos.

Sojourn Studios officially moved out of our home and into their new studio. To end this well, we celebrated!

After their last day in our house, we took the ladies out to purchase bicycles, so they could bike to work the following week. They each bought these out of their savings (win!), and we also had fun.

My son loves these ladies so very much, and they love him.

We also took their families out to dinner that night to a local favorite, where everyone gathers around and cooks the meal together at the table over a fire. It was fun; it was crazy. Our biggest win was convincing all the husbands to join, and we are so excited for how far these relationships have come in that way.

It also meant Oak’s two best friends in the community came along, and because the car was full, they were all in the back with me. He was LOVING it.

As a present, we had this digital artwork made by a friend in Vietnam and had it framed for each of them.

A non-profit circus organization, Spark! Circus, tours Mae Sot every year around this time, and they offered their annual public performance. We took some of the community to join us, and Oak absolutely loved it.

He is still talking about the man who blew fire out of his mouth, and how it was hot and he got wet, because…well, it’s a small town, and we were on the front row.

The kids are still in our house many days of every week, and we are still surprised at all the shenanigans.

At Christmas, one of the gifts we gave was a waffle maker. It came with an evening of teaching, which we only got to this month! But we brought the works and taught the whole family a few different ways to make waffles.

Another local non-profit was offering a cake baking & decorating course last week, and Thida and I signed up to join! Thida makes all our community cakes now–often a few a week, for about seventy kids! We have been using the depression cake recipe, but we’ve decided to make smaller-sized, better-tasting, more special cakes now.

She and I went on Tuesday to bake our cakes, and returned on Wednesday to make icing and decorate them.

And last, Oak’s fancy stage. His two favorite outfits lately are: his jeans, with Mom & Dad both wearing them, too (so far the 100 degree weather doesn’t phase him); and his longyi. It’s a traditional Burmese outfit; a casual cotton one would be worn daily, but this is more wedding-appropriate. He chooses it weekly, at least.

It’s also worth noting: his longyi is maroon with gold patterning, and his shirt is pink silk with a fake diamond at the top.
WOW.

He’s the best-dressed wherever we go, and it’s very popular!

That’s us; our best happenings!

adoption: an update.

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The other day on Instagram, a friend who is adopting for the second time posted an update on their adoption process. It was truly incredible.

She laid out every step of the process. She knew the time frames for each, and exactly what to expect. She knew what paperwork she needed and exactly how it would go.

I told Stephen about this, and we laughed.
Very often, we choose to laugh instead of cry in our lives.

In April of this year, we are five years into our adoption process. While we have Oak with us now (making the process much better!) we aren’t sure how much longer it will take. We aren’t sure how many steps are left.

When we went into the meeting five years ago, they said the entire process would be complete in about eighteen months. (Again, I’m laughing now instead of crying.)

Even now, looking back on over four years of this “process” I’m not sure I could describe it to you. I couldn’t give you a date we were placed, because technically speaking we received a call in late 2018 that went like this:

Caseworker: Hi, this is _____. Do you remember me?
Stephen: Yes, I remember you.
(Unsaid by Stephen: “I’ve been waiting for your call for MONTHS! I pray for you regularly! YES, I REMEMBER YOU.)
CW: Can you send me your new passport and work permit and visa papers?
Stephen: Yes, we can email you that.
CW: He looks just like you! (And then other things not understood…)
Stephen: …Who? Who looks like me?
CW: Did you see the photo? I open the photo and he looks just like you and your wife!
Stephen: Who?
CW: The little boy. You have not seen the photo?
Stephen: No. we didn’t get a photo. Did you send a photo?
CW: Oh, I need work permit and new visa. 
Stephen: Did you get his file? 
CW: Yes! I already sent it to the board. You send the work permit and visas.
Stephen: Yes, we will send them. Can you send the photo?
CW: Congratulations! I’m so excited! I want to tell you congratulations!
Stephen: Thank you…Yes…You say congratulations…for what? Are we…moving forward?
CW: He looks just like you! Ok, bye. Send the work permit and visa.

After this call, we sent our updated work permit and visa that afternoon. And we heard nothing–absolutely nothing–for nearly three months. We wondered every day if we should officially consider ourselves “placed”–but with what? We might be placed with a boy, but he/she is a very commonly mis-said pronoun, so we were hesitant to plan, hope, announce…

The next email we received said we had been placed. We learned his birthday and a boy was again referenced, so we thought it was more likely to be truly a boy, and perhaps we had then been placed?

Again, do we tell people this? What do we tell them: It’s a boy! (We think.) This is his birthday! (We think.) He might be ours…someday! It seemed a weak announcement.

It was another two months before we received a file and photo, when we got a name and what I would consider an actual placement.

We had him in our home within a month after that. We didn’t know that then; in fact, the day we met him–also the day before we picked him up–we were out at 9pm buying a car seat, clothes that would fit, and bedding. It turned out to be the one fast bit of this process!

We didn’t know the day we went to meet him that we’d be driving two hours to the home. Or that we’d spend the whole day with him.

The list of things we didn’t know when they were happening is so very long.

And is still true today: we’re waiting on his final paperwork. This might be contingent on another home check; it might not. We might be close; we might not.

They said six months from when we got him, and we’re at ten months next week.

We aren’t really sure what to expect even when we get the paperwork: do we go to court? Do we travel to Bangkok? Do they just send us a paper?

In the middle of this, we still have relatively no idea what’s going on.

I’m a little jealous of this friend, who has a fluent English speaker explaining every step of the way. I’m a little jealous of a culture that likes to tell you the big picture and every step of the way.

It would certainly make “giving an update” a bit easier. Or making a plan.

But it wouldn’t require me to learn trust like I have in the past five years. It wouldn’t push me each and every day to be reminded that this little boy is only ours by the grace of God. It would remind me every moment that God is in control and I most certainly am not.

I wouldn’t be learning the skill of turning tears into laughter. I wouldn’t be learning to hold everything with hands wide open.

If we’d taken any other chaotic path, we wouldn’t be holding this little boy in our arms each morning.

And with that, our process is going fine. We’re here for awhile still, and we aren’t sure when we’ll be able to visit. The questions in our future loom large and broad.

But we’re a family of three for now, and we are SO. VERY. THANKFUL.